Fly With Me (Wild Aces #1)(72)
I gripped his hand more tightly, holding on to Noah with everything I had, as though the connection between us would keep him safe as waves of protectiveness crashed over me like I’d never experienced before.
And then the room got so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, as we all watched Dani rise from her seat and walk to the front of the room.
Noah had told me that it was typical for the widow to speak last, but they’d wanted to spare her the emotion of listening to the squadron tell stories about her husband and then having to stand in front of over a thousand people and eulogize him. So she would go first and everyone else would follow her lead.
She walked up to the podium, the wing commander at her side, which seemed more for protocol and pretense than anything else considering the space between their bodies.
She’d asked me to find her a dress and I’d pulled some strings through the store to get one sent here so she wouldn’t have to deal with buying one herself.
She didn’t look like she belonged here in this airplane hangar. She looked like an auburn Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly, like a throwback to another time and place. This, too, was her way of honoring Joker. Even in her grief, she carried herself with poise, and I couldn’t help but think that he was beaming down on her with pride.
Another lump grew in my throat, joining the three thousand, four hundred, and twenty-two that were already lodged there.
I squeezed Noah’s hand a little tighter.
Dani stopped at the podium, her hands on either side of the frame. She didn’t speak for a moment, staring out at the crowd. Her eyes were covered by large black sunglasses, her hair pulled back in a severe bun that made her look even more fragile.
Another lump.
She took a deep breath as though steadying herself and then her voice rang out over the microphone.
“Thank you for coming today to celebrate Michael’s life.” Her voice cracked over the words. “Michael was a wonderful husband. He was my best friend. And more than anything, he was a fighter pilot. He loved flying, loved serving with all of you.” Her gaze ran over the crowd. “As hard as this is, as much as I miss him, he wouldn’t want me to cry up here. He wouldn’t want us all to gather in grief, but to celebrate the tremendous life he led.”
She swallowed, her voice trembling. “He knew the danger every time he flew, knew the price he could pay, but he loved to fly. And anyone who knew him knows that he went out the way he would have wanted to, flying the plane he loved, doing the job he was born to do. Defending the country he loved.”
She paused and the silence stretched on, her hands gripping the edge of the podium as she struggled to continue.
“Michael—” His name came out as a choked sob.
We’d asked her if she wanted anyone to go up with her, but she’d said that it was something she needed to do on her own. We should have insisted, should have realized that no matter how badly she’d wanted to do this on her own, it was too much.
Noah let out an oath beside me.
The wing commander stood off to the side, and even though I doubted he would have done much to comfort Dani, at least it was something. I silently willed him to go stand next to her, to help her get through this, but he didn’t f*cking move. The silence continued and I waited for her family, for someone, to go help her, and then Dani’s gaze jerked to the side, and I caught a flash of blue walking toward the podium.
Easy, wearing his navy blue service dress, his body tense as though poised for flight, strode to the front, his gaze on Dani the entire time. And then Noah’s hand left mine and he stood, walking to the edge of our row, up to the podium. Thor followed.
Easy reached Dani first, his arm going around her waist, looking like he was propping her up. Noah stood next to Easy, Thor on the other side of Dani.
They flanked her, the three men who’d been there for the last moments of Joker’s life. Three of his closest friends. They surrounded her like sentries, giving her their protection and support.
“Michael was the love of my life,” Dani continued, her voice stronger now. “And I can’t imagine my life without him. But I know he is watching all of us, looking down on us from his place in the sky.” Her voice warbled, the tears there unmistakable. “He’s home now.”
There wasn’t a dry eye in the hangar.
Dani stepped away from the podium, her arm tucked into Easy’s, surrounded by pilots. They walked her to her seat, and then Noah was beside me once again, his hand in mine.
The rest of the service went by in a flood of stories about Joker. Most of the squadron got up and spoke about him, painting a picture of a leader who had been both friend and mentor, who had cared about his people and put them first, even when it meant he had to stick his neck out for them.
When it was Noah’s turn, he spoke of the friend he’d lost, and I realized just how difficult this must be for him, and how he fought to keep it together for everyone around him.
I’d never loved him more.
TWENTY-SEVEN
NOAH
The f*cking day wouldn’t end. It was like that last radio call kept playing over and over in my mind, Joker’s voice in my ear, and then . . . nothing. He was just gone.
That was the part I couldn’t wrap my brain around, the thing that no matter how many times I told myself, I couldn’t make sink in.
Joker was gone.