Fly With Me (Wild Aces #1)(67)

My body shuddered, any hope of composure lost in the face of her love. Each sigh from her body broke me down and put me back together again.

Minutes passed before we pulled away from each other, our limbs tangling as we touched each other’s faces, as though we needed the physical weight of each other to ensure that this wasn’t just a dream. I needed something tangible to anchor me from a week when I’d felt like I’d been floating through a nightmare.

Our palms found each other, fingers linking.

We walked toward the crowd of people, toward Dani standing at the center of it all. I didn’t know if it was the white noise in my mind, or if silence truly did descend over the crowd, but either way, it felt like all of the sound was sucked away, my world reduced to the sight of my friend’s widow standing in front of me and Jordan’s hand clutched in mine.

I stopped in front of Dani, words failing me. Jordan had told me that she wanted to come, we’d all been prepared to see her, and yet there was no preparing for something like this.

And then I heard his voice in my mind. Clear as day. Not the radio calls, not the horrible moment before, but I swore I heard him in the after, and as weird as it sounded, it was impossible to ignore the possibility that maybe Dani had been Joker’s anchor much as Jordan was mine, and maybe, somehow, he was here inside her.

I hugged her, using whatever strength I had left to fight the tears rising in my throat. It was impossible to fall apart in the face of her strength. She didn’t cry. She didn’t speak. She just held on to me for a moment, and then I pulled back and met her gaze through the frames shielding her eyes from the world.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you.”

Her voice came out as a whisper, so different from the last time we’d spoken, when her voice had been a song of laughter and joy.

I ached.

“He loved you more than anything.”

She nodded, her voice raw. “I know.”

“Anything you need. We’re here.”

She squeezed my hand. “Thank you. He loved you, too. Loved flying with you. You were a good friend to him. You’ve been a good friend to us.”

I nodded, the lump in my throat even bigger now, the threat of tears even more perilous. Without speaking, Jordan seemed to sense how close I was to losing my shit, and she nudged me along and we moved to the side, watching as the rest of the guys in my cell walked toward her.

Thor came first, his face pale, his eyes red, looking like he was about to throw up. He’d been second in the formation, Joker’s wingman. I’d tried talking to him after, knew Easy had as well, but it was clear just by looking at him that he wasn’t ready to hear anything we said. I got it. We were alone in the cockpit, the jet ours, and yet we flew as a formation. We were trained to think about the guy on our wing, about our lead. We were trained to think of each other. But more than that, we were bros. Living this life, we all knew that every single flight was a risk that someone wouldn’t return. We all knew someone who’d crashed. Especially when you’d been in this job as long as we had.

But living it was something else entirely. Coming home one man down changed you in a way I’d never understood before. The three of us would forever be bound by the memory of this horrible night. It was the worst kind of brotherhood to belong to.

Dani spoke to Thor in whispered tones. He hugged her, his eyes wet. And then it was Easy’s turn.



JORDAN

I felt like I should look away, as though I was intruding on an intensely private moment. And yet the moment crested like an aching note hovering above us, and it was impossible to look away.

Easy didn’t walk anywhere. Ever since I’d met him, I’d watched him swagger everywhere, his long limbs moving in a beat that ensured all eyes were on him and he knew it.

Not today.

He walked like he’d aged twenty years overnight, as though each step was a weighty effort, like a condemned man heading toward his execution. It hurt to watch him walk, each step filled with a palpable pain. He didn’t look at her. He didn’t look at anyone. He stared down, his shoulders hunched, his body broken.

I could feel the guilt and shame in Noah, had seen it in Thor, but on Easy it was something else entirely. Easy walked like he wished he could disappear, as though he could trade places with Joker, and it would be his body on the ground.

He’d been number three in the formation.

It seemed as though we all held our collective breaths as he stopped in front of Dani.

He spoke, his voice too low to be heard, his words only for her. I sucked in a deep breath as Dani reached out, her hands grasping his face, holding his gaze. They stood there like that, suspended, and I wondered if this was the moment when Easy would simply fall apart, as if seeing her loss would be too much to bear. I would have said he looked like he was held together by a string, but really, even that was optimistic. If it was a thread, it was gossamer. And even that appeared ready to disintegrate.

Except it didn’t.

Dani moved forward, her body collapsing into his, and it was as if she gave him her strength so that he could take her pain. Easy’s arms came around her, holding her tight, his face buried in her hair. Her small frame shook with sobs, his body still, anchoring her grief.





TWENTY-FIVE




JORDAN

The rest of the day was a blur. I felt numb going through the motions, doing everything I could to support Dani while trying to take care of the guys. While trying to keep it together for Noah. And then we got home and some of the tension eased.