Fisher's Light(88)

Chapter 34




Fisher

Present Day


Before I know it, July has flown by, as well as August. I’ve found my place back on this island and with Lucy, but something still feels off. I’m keeping busy with more furniture orders than ever before and I help Lucy out at in inn when she lets me. We’ve been spending as much time together as possible and it feels like we’re dating all over again. We go to dinner, we hold hands and go for long walks on the beach and we curl up and watch movies, just like when we were married. Everything about it feels so right, but something still feels wrong.

We haven’t had a deep, heart-to-heart talk since the night of the Fourth, but we’ve been working our way through our issues and dealing with the hurts of the past one day at a time. I’ve told her I love her countless times, but she never says the words back. I know she doesn’t completely trust me, I can see it in her eyes, but I don’t know what else to do to convince her that I’m not going anywhere and I would rather die than hurt her again. The giant elephant in the room is the yellow cottage at the edge of town that sits there dark and locked, waiting for the happily married couple who used to live there to come home. I spend the night at the inn in her living quarters practically every night, even though there’s nothing I’d rather do than take her home. To our home, to start over and begin a new life together. I don’t want to push her into something she’s not ready for, but I don’t know how much longer I can live my life in standstill without moving forward.

I know there’s something she’s holding back, something she’s not telling me. I see it every time we talk and feel it every time we make love. There’s almost a desperation about her that I’ve never seen before. She clutches onto me tighter, begs me for more and tries to hold back her tears, but I see them every time, even though she does her best to hide them. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and I don’t know how to fix things. I know things will never be perfect between us, no relationship is, but it’s almost like she’s picking fights with me just for the hell of it. She pushes my buttons and says things that tick me off and it’s like she’s just waiting for me to explode, waiting for me to push her away and say hurtful things to her like I did before. I make sure to keep my anger in check and calmly reason with her about whatever stupid thing she wants to argue about, regardless of whether it’s the fact I left the cap off the shampoo bottle or I forgot to lower the toilet seat. I do everything I can to prove to her that I’m not going to fly off the handle like I’ve done before, but all it seems to do is piss her off more.

“So, when are you kids going to shit or get off the pot?”

Lucy looks over at Trip and I just shake my head at him as I continue to eat.

He invited us over for dinner and we’ve been having a nice, normal conversation about the jobs he’s been working on around the island and the orders I’ve taken the last few weeks.

“Seriously, it’s getting a little annoying watching you two *-foot around each other. When are you getting remarried so you can start popping out some great-grandkids for me?” Trip asks casually.

Lucy starts to choke on the mouthful of food she was chewing and my silverware clatters to the plate at Trip’s question. I quickly reach over and pat Lucy on the back, shooting Trip a dirty look. He sticks his tongue out at me before grabbing Lucy’s glass and holding it in front of her.

She snatches it from his hand and gulps down half the glass. This old man is getting on my last nerve. He’s been asking that same question every time I’ve stopped by to grab clean clothes, since I’ve practically moved out of his house and into the inn. Each time I’ve told him to mind his own business and that I didn’t want to rush things with Lucy, but clearly he thinks rushing and being nosy is the way to get things done.

“How about we discuss why you’ve never gotten remarried?” I ask, turning the conversation back on him. “Fifty years is a long time to be alone.”

Lucy gently sets her glass down and looks at Trip in wonder, holding her breath and waiting for him to answer. She’s asked me that question a few times over the years and I never gave it much thought until recently. My grandfather, though annoying at times, is a good, hardworking man. He’s handsome for an old guy and I’ve seen him flirt with plenty of women around town, so I know he’s still got some spark left in him. I’ve never understood why he wanted to be alone for all of these years, why he never fell in love again after my grandmother died.