Fisher's Light(87)

“I can practically hear your brain working,” he smiles against my lips as he pulls back to look at me. “Talk to me. You can ask me anything. I’m not going to keep things from you anymore.”

I look down and nervously pick a few pieces of lint from the towel off of the skirt of my dress.

“That night at Barney’s, when you first got back to town, you told me you were just drinking sparkling water. Have you…are you…”

I trail off, suddenly feeling completely uncomfortable with this conversation, but I know it has to happen. His drinking was one of the catalysts that eventually broke us.

“I’ve been sober since the night Bobby dropped me off at the VA hospital,” he tells me softly. “It sucked and it’s been hell, but every day gets a little bit easier. It helps that I have a really good man to talk to if I ever feel tempted to drink. He kicked my ass the whole time I was at the hospital, but he’s a good guy. He served in Vietnam and he understands the struggles vets go through. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have a beer again without being tempted to overindulge and for right now, I’m not going to test it. I’m taking it one day at a time like I’ve been taught and it’s working so far.”

I look up at him, staring into the clear, brown eyes that haven’t been bloodshot a single time since he came back and trailing down over the face that hasn’t been flushed and bloated from alcohol at any point over the last two months and I’m certain he’s telling the truth. I run my hands over the stubble on his face and my heart stutters when he smiles at me and I see his dimples peeking through the facial hair.

“I’m proud of you,” I tell him honestly.

He shrugs. “I’m kind of proud of me, too. It’s nice not having a cloudy brain all the time and being able to see what’s right in front of me and how important it is that I stay sober.”

Leaning forward, I press my lips to his.

“Are you thinking clearly right now?” I whisper against his lips.

His smile widens and he closes his eyes. “The thing I’ve NEVER been more clear about is how much I love you, how much I need you and how I don’t ever want to be anywhere else but right here with you.”

I hear voices outside and footsteps on the porch. Fisher and I break apart and scoot a little away from each other as guests start filing into the inn, laughing and talking about how much fun they had down at the beach. They wave at us as they walk past and head towards their rooms.

“I should probably head back to Trip’s,” Fisher says quietly. “You probably have a lot of stuff you need to do around here.”

Pushing myself up from the floor, I hold my hands out to him and help him up.

“It can wait until tomorrow. Stay,” I tell him.

Now that I have him back, now that we’ve battled most of the demons living inside of our heads and our hearts, I don’t want to let him go.

He leans down and kisses me quickly before pulling back. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

I turn and pull him through the sitting room and towards my living quarters. Tugging him into the small bathroom, I turn on the water in the shower to get it warmed up. We undress each other slowly and step under the spray of the hot water together. Fisher takes his time running a bar of soap over my body and I sigh in pleasure when he turns me around and massages my scalp with shampoo. After he rinses it out, he drops to his knees on the porcelain and gently turns my hips, sinking his mouth between my legs. He takes his time licking me and tasting me until I clutch onto his hair and beg for more, my hips thrusting quickly against his mouth. His fingers immediately join his lips and his tongue, pushing inside of me and rocking slowly in and out of my body. After so many years of pleasuring me and learning my body, he knows exactly what to do, where to touch and how to move his hands and his tongue to drive me insane. I’ve missed this so much that I almost start to cry when I feel my orgasm rushing through my body. I’ve missed having someone who knows me so completely and loves me so fully. I come quickly with a shout, my head thumping back against the tile wall as the water beats down against us and Fisher hums his pleasure against my sex.

While I pant and calm my racing heart against the wall, Fisher turns off the water and pulls me out of the shower, wrapping us both in towels from the shelf above the toilet. We walk hand-in-hand into my dark bedroom and shed our towels onto the floor before curling up under the covers on my tiny bed. Our bodies are pressed together so tightly that I’m surprised either one of us can breathe. The warmth of his arms and the thump of his heart beating against my own lulls me quickly into the most peaceful sleep I’ve had in over a year.