Fisher's Light(62)

Each word I speak to her reminds me of the * she’s been spending her days and nights with instead of me, fueling my jealousy and anger to the point that I know I should back away. I shouldn’t be anywhere near her when I’m this fired up, but I can’t stop now that I’m inside of her.

I quicken the flick of my thumb over her clit, rubbing it back and forth, feeling it pulse against my hand as she moves her hips faster, helping me drive her closer to her orgasm.

My teeth continue to sink into the soft skin of her neck as I pick up my pace, slamming my fingers inside of her hard and deep until the sounds of people talking down the street are drowned out by the sounds of my fingers siding through her wet *.

I can tell by the hitch in her voice as she moans and how fast she’s moving her hips against my hand that she’s close to coming. I remember everything about her body, ever little nuance and sound, and I hate that she’s trying to erase all of that from her mind with another man.

“You think of me when you come, dammit,” I growl, my hand smacking against her * with the force of my fingers slamming into her so roughly and so quickly. “You see MY face, feel MY hands and shout MY name.”

I slam my fingers home one last time, as deep as possible and add pressure to my thumb. Lucy comes against my hand and my name is most certainly on her f*cking lips when she does.

As soon as I hear her shout my name, something inside of me snaps. The angry haze that clouded my eyes and the fury in my bones slips out of me in a rush.

I let out a shuddering breath and quickly pull my fingers out of her, moving away as fast as I can. My back slams into the building opposite her and I bring my hands up to my head, clutching my hair in my hands.

Lucy turns, rolling her body against the wall like it’s boneless and takes effort for her to move. She’s probably in pain. I f*cking pushed her against that building because I let my anger get the best of me. I swore to never hurt her again and look what I’ve done. I’ve reverted back to an animal who can’t control himself or his emotions.

“Fisher.”

She says my name softly and pushes off of the wall, taking a step towards me. The glow from a nearby streetlight illuminates her face and I immediately see a red welt on the side of her neck from my teeth. I drop my hands from my hair and hold them up in front of me, shaking my head back and forth.

“No, don’t. Just….stay there. Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me? I’m sorry, I’m so f*cking sorry.”

The soft look in her eyes instantly morphs into disgust that I’m sure mirrors my own.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you DARE apologize to me!” she shouts.

Her anger shocks me and makes me feel worse. I spent all those months away from her trying to find a way to control myself and, after just a few seconds of seeing her kiss another man, I’ve ruined all of the progress I’d made.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have touched you like that. I’m so sorry,” I whisper, wishing someone WOULD come down this alley right now just to kick my ass.

Lucy shakes her head at me and swipes angrily at the tears on her cheeks. I made her cry. I hurt her and I f*cking made her cry again. I want her to hit me, to scream at me and smack me and tell me exactly what kind of an animal I really am.

“You don’t get it, you just don’t f*cking get it!” she growls as more tears fall.

I definitely get it. I get that I should have left her alone. I shouldn’t have come back here, believing that I was better and could make up for hurting her by being nothing but gentle and loving with her.

“That will never happen again, I swear to you,” I whisper brokenly, trying not to shed my own f*cking tears in the process.

“Fuck you, Fisher. FUCK YOU!” she screams.

She turns and takes off running down the alley and all I can do is stand there and watch her go.





Chapter 25




From Fisher’s Journal

March 3, 2004


“Fisher, come on. It’s freezing! I kind of thought we’d spend our last night together doing something a little bit warmer. Maybe with less clothing.”

Lucy’s musical laughter tickles my ears as she tries to lighten the situation and pretend there isn’t a dark cloud hovering over the two of us. She’s fought back tears every time we talked about our plans for today, our last day together. It makes me love her even more than I already do, knowing she’s doing everything she can to be strong so that I can walk away from her tomorrow without the distraction of worry and regret.