Fisher's Light(104)

She doesn’t feel the same and she doesn’t smell the same, but none of that matters. Her legs straddle my thighs and I clutch onto her ass, pulling her closer so she doesn’t change her mind and walk away.

I don’t like her voice. It’s not the same soft, sweet cadence that always makes my ears tingle and my heart beat fast. It’s probably because my heart died and there’s nothing inside my chest but a shriveled up, useless organ. This voice is shrill and annoying. Lucy is changing right before me, but I don’t care. It’s my fault, anyway. It’s my fault she’s different and doesn’t feel the same or smell the same. I changed her, I hurt her…all my fault.

She doesn’t taste the same and I hate it. I want my Lucy, not this drunken, morphed version of her.

I hear angry shouts and the shuffling of feet and the Lucy on my lap speaks again and it makes me wince. I want to tell her to stop talking like that. Stop talking in a different voice, stop smelling different, stop feeling different…just stop it. Be MY Lucy. I need MY Lucy.

I’m not a hero, I’m not a good man, I’m not a good husband…I am none of those things and they need to see that.

The papers and the folder flutter to the floor as I lean forward, wrapping my arms around my waist to try and hold myself together. I’m crying so hard I can barely breathe, each ragged breath I take in making my chest hurt and each tear that falls making my eyes burn. He loved me so much and, even during his darkest time, he never lost sight of that. I let a few words from a woman who means NOTHING to me make me lose my faith in him. I’m such a coward and a fool. I had the proof of his love right in front of me this entire time and I refused to believe it. When you’ve been hurt once, it’s so hard to let go and not be afraid you won’t be hurt again. I should have trusted him, I should have believed him and I should have taken the love he gave me, wrapped it in my arms and never let it go.

I think about the journal pages he gave me himself, his memories of when I tutored him in Chemistry and how he flirted with me and only had eyes for me and became the sweet, strong amazing man that I fell in love with.

The day he proposed and how nervous he was, how scared he was of leaving me and how I gave him something to fight for, live for and come back home for.

Our wedding day and the crash of glasses in his parents’ home that caused him to panic, sending him running to find me and breaking tradition by seeing me in my gown before the ceremony. How he couldn’t calm down until he saw me, held me and told me he loved me and how we promised to renew our vows at the lighthouse on the fifteenth anniversary of when we started dating.

The fifteenth anniversary that is only a few weeks from now.

A howling wind outside rattles the windows, making me hop up from the chair and quickly wipe the tears from my eyes. The sky that was slightly overcast this morning has now turned pitch black with swirling, angry clouds. The trees that line the street in front of the inn are flopping from side to side with the force of the wind.

I quickly grab the folder and the papers from the floor and race out of the room, turning on the small television set on the counter in the kitchen, listening to the newscaster report on the quickly changing weather.

“Tropical Storm Vera has made an unexpected turn and is now bearing down on the coast of South Carolina. With damaging winds measuring up to forty miles per hour in some places, we’re asking everyone in our viewing area to take precautions and begin hurricane preparations. While this storm hasn’t yet been upgraded to a hurricane, it’s still a good idea to be safe. We’ll keep you posted on Vera, so stay tuned.”





Chapter 40




Lucy

Present Day


The lights flicker as I try to call Fisher for the fifth time, still with no answer on his cell phone or at Trip’s house. I’ve tried Bobby and Ellie’s cell phones, as well, and neither of them are picking up, either. I finish gathering the wireless LED lights, checking the batteries as I place them around the first floor of the inn while making sure Seth and Mary Beth know to stay away from the windows and in a central part of the house, just to be safe. I hear the front door fly open and slam shut with the force of the wind and I race out of the living room, hoping it’s Fisher.

My footsteps falter and my hope falls when I see Trip securing the deadbolt and shaking the rain from his hair.

“Don’t look so disappointed to see me, Lucy girl,” Trip mutters.

I rush over to him and give him a quick hug. “I’m sorry, I thought you might be Fisher. I’ve been trying to call him for the last hour, but he’s not picking up.”