Fisher's Light(100)

I was finally forced to talk to him last night when he came storming into the inn, pissed off and more than ready to fight. He’d found out about my phone call with Stanford and he was definitely not happy.

“How in the hell could you keep something like that from me?”

“I wasn’t keeping it from you, I was waiting to see if it panned out before I said anything.”

“Jesus, you’ve been ignoring me for a week for something I didn’t even do when the entire time you’ve been going behind my back with your ex-boyfriend!”

“I wasn’t going behind your back with anyone! I was doing what I needed to do to make sure I didn’t lose the inn. This has NOTHING to do with you!”

“It has EVERYTHING to do with me! I was your f*cking HUSBAND and you wouldn’t let me help you with the inn, but you’re going to let THAT schmuck bail you out?”

“That’s exactly why I WOULD let him bail me out, because he isn’t my husband and it’s not something he feels like he HAS to do.”

“I don’t HAVE to do it either, I f*cking WANT to. I love this place just as much as you do. Dammit, why can’t you just let me take care of you for once? What’s mine is yours, don’t you see that? I love you and I WANT to do this for you!”

We went round and round for over an hour, neither one of us willing to give in. When he tried bringing up the Melanie situation again as a way to steer the argument away from the inn, I finally stormed out of the living room and locked myself in my room.

“Am I bad person for not believing him when he tells me he didn’t sleep with her?” I ask Ellie softly as I step down from the ladder and stand next to her. “I feel like the worst person in the world. He was going through so much when all of that happened and he’s done so much to get better and be a better person and I can’t let go of this hurt. I can’t let go of this one little thing.”

Ellie wraps her arm around me and I rest my head on her shoulder.

“It wasn’t a little thing, though, it was a big thing. Even if he didn’t f*ck her—which, I’m telling you right now and I’ve told you a hundred times before, HE DIDN’T—it was still a big thing. It broke your trust in him and when you break a woman’s trust, it’s hard to get it back,” Ellie tells me. “You aren’t a bad person, Lucy, you’re a woman with a big heart. You loved him more than anything else in the world and he pushed you away no matter how hard you tried to keep him close. I think it’s time for you to decide if you can let all of that go and let him heal your heart once and for all, or if you’re going to let it stay broken.”

I lift my head off of her shoulder and run my palms up and down my face. I feel like shit and I know I look like shit. I’ve cried myself to sleep every night that Fisher hasn’t been here with me. I want to believe him; I don’t want to let Melanie have the last word and get the satisfaction of knowing that she tore us apart, but I don’t know how to do this. I’ve been with one man my entire life and it’s something beautiful to me. Even though Fisher was far from a virgin when we first slept together, I’ve always been confident that he was faithful to me. In the back of my mind, I’ve always had those little worries and doubts that every woman has from time to time that maybe he’d find someone better, someone prettier, but I never let them take over and he always made me feel like I was the only one he would ever want. A few choice words from Melanie and all of that is shot to shit.

I put away the ladder and leave the rest of the storm shutters for another day while Ellie heads over to Bobby’s house and I go inside to do a little work on the website, switching out the summer rates for the winter rates. As soon as I sit down at the computer, I hear the front door open and see an older couple walk inside with a few suitcases.

It’s not unusual for us to get guests once the season is over. Some people don’t like the crowds and prefer to be on the island when it’s quiet and peaceful, but I checked the schedule this morning and we don’t have any new guests coming until next week.

I get up from the computer and move around the desk to greet them.

“Hi, my name’s Lucy, welcome to Butler House,” I tell them with a smile, holding my hand out for each of them.

“Thank you,” the woman tells me. “This place is absolutely beautiful. I’m so sorry, but we don’t have a reservation. Will that be a problem?”

We only have one other couple staying here at the moment and they are checking out tomorrow.