Fire Inside (Chaos, #2)(65)

“Okay,” I repeated.

“With women, it’s about the slow soak, babe. Assholes pour shit on the surface and women keep goin’ not even knowin’ that shit is soakin’ in. Then one day, out of f*ckin’ nowhere, that acid has burned deep in a way it leaves a wound that will never heal. Wipe that shit away, Lanie. Don’t let it soak in. He doesn’t know me. He cannot make that call about me.”

“That’s what I told him,” I shared.

“Good,” he clipped.

“Uh, Hop, he’s a biker bigot and he’s, well… other kinds of bigot besides. I told you that before you met him,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, you told me that but that was about how he’d be with me. I don’t give a f*ck he makes a point and steps away from me after he shakes my hand. I give a f*ck about him givin’ my woman shit and maybe makin’ her question bein’ with me. And when I say I give a shit, I mean in a big f*ckin’ way.”

Boy, not much escaped Hop.

“He didn’t make me question it, Hopper,” I promised, then tried to lighten the mood. “And, just to say, it’s a little freaky how well you know women.”

“Babe, best wool men ever pulled was lettin’ women think we think with our dicks. We pay a f*ckuva lot of attention. We know your shit maybe more than you do because we live it right along with you and some of you try to make us eat it. It’s just that some of us choose not to get sucked in the drama and instead focus on getting laid regularly.”

I felt my eyes get big right before I wrapped my arms around him and started giggling, but I managed to push through my giggles, “Honey, not sure you should share the brotherhood’s secrets.”

“You talk, no woman will listen. They prefer to think a man’s brain is in his dick. Gives ’em something to bitch about.”

“Again, freaking me out how well you know women,” I said, still giggling, and finally his face cleared and he smiled at me.

Then his thumb swept my lips right before it drifted away and his head dropped so his mouth could brush them.

When he lifted up again, he wasn’t smiling.

“You packed and walked out,” he whispered.

I stopped giggling and my teeth came out to graze my lower lip before I confirmed (again), “Yeah.”

“Means a lot, baby.”

It did. Absolutely.

I was just glad he agreed.

I tightened my arms around him but said nothing.

Hop wasn’t done.

“Means a lot you’re finally in my bed, too.”

My hand slid up his back so my fingertips could play with his hair but I again said nothing.

“It’ll be good to wake up with you here.”

He was killing me.

It felt exquisite but it had to stop before I melted and became one with his waterbed.

“I have to share that I’m also a bit freaked about the fact you have a waterbed but, even through our various, sometimes vigorous activities, the waves didn’t toss us off.”

He again gave me the subject change. His eyes lit with amusement and his hand moved down to the side of my neck so his thumb could stroke my throat.

It felt really nice.

“It’s waveless, Lanie.”

“Bodies of water, even small ones, and waveless aren’t natural, Hop,” I noted.

“Bein’ on the moon isn’t natural either, but man managed to do that,” he returned.

“Being on the moon is about harnessing science and technology. Waveless waterbeds are about harnessing nature and that, by definition, is not natural,” I shot back.

“Babe, you’re not lyin’ on a miracle,” he said through a lip twitch.

“No, I’m lying under one.”

His lips stopped twitching, his body went completely still, except his chin jerked back and his eyes started burning again.

This all confirmed the fact that those five words actually did come out of my mouth.

Damn.

“Hop—”

He cut me off. “You said it. Don’t pollute it.”

I closed my mouth and his hand moved up, fingers driving into the hair at the side of my head, his thumb moving out to sweep my cheek, his face getting close, his body pressing into mine and his lips whispering, “You givin’ me this?”

I knew what he meant. I was becoming fluent in Hop Speak but had already become fluent in Chaos Speak so I didn’t miss his question.

I understood it completely.

“This” meant me.

“Hop—” I began.

“Easy question, Lanie.”

“No, it isn’t,” I argued because, well, it wasn’t!

“Right, I’ll amend. You givin’ me a shot at havin’ this?”

“Well…” I paused then thought, being naked in his bed, sharing stories and laughter, that it was safe to say, “Yeah.”

“No, lady,” he shook his head. “You don’t understand me. Are you giving me a shot at havin’ this,” his thumb moved back over my cheek, “you. For real. Sharing. Building. Lookin’ at a future.”

Okay, maybe I wasn’t yet fluent in Hop Speak.

I squirmed again. “Hop—”

“I want that,” he declared.