Finding Eden (A Sign of Love Novel)(58)

When I got back to Calder's room, I heard him in the master bathroom. I sat down on the bed and waited, feeling suddenly very nervous.
Calder came out with no shirt on and rubbing a towel on his neck. My eyes moved slowly over his muscular chest, and arms, down to his ridged stomach and lower to that sparse trail of hair. I knew right where that led. I swallowed heavily, my body alert, alive. The last time I had really looked at him naked, he had barely been a man. He was twenty-two now and he had filled out in ways that made my stomach clench and a steady buzz begin between my legs.
"Do you want to use the bathroom? I have a candle in there. Sorry, still haven't gotten to the electricity."
I cleared my throat. "Well, you were shopping for healing beds today," I said softly, my eyes still on his chest. When I finally dragged my eyes to his, he was smiling a knowing smile.
I let out an embarrassed exhale. I stood up and moved around him to the bathroom, almost jumping away from him when I felt the heat of his body so close to mine. Get a hold of yourself, Eden. This is Calder. Not some stranger. Only in some ways that's exactly what he was.
I closed the door to the bathroom and stood against it for a minute, taking deep breaths. A single candle was flickering on the counter, casting the bathroom in a dim glow. I stood there watching the flame jump.
Calder was right; we didn't have to decide anything right now. Didn't we owe it to ourselves to try to work through the feeling of desperate neediness and surrealism that I, at least, hadn't been able to shake since I'd walked into that gallery? It'd only been a day since we'd found out we were both still alive, but was there really a good reason to force ourselves to stay apart? I wanted him and he still wanted me. Did it need to be more complicated than that?
I used the bathroom and freshened up, using his toothpaste on my finger to brush my teeth and then I blew out the candle, took a deep breath, and walked back into the bedroom.
Calder was sitting on the bed and the light in the room was flickering with candlelight now, too, as he had closed the blinds and the light from the city outside was no longer shining in.
I walked slowly over to him and when I got to where he was sitting, I moved close and he pulled me into him, laying his head on my stomach. I ran my hands through his hair, acquainting myself with the feel of his longer strands. It was thick and silky and almost black in the candlelit room. Calder turned his face into my stomach and breathed in, running his hands up over my backside and then back down again. He looked up at me and brought his hands around to the front and put them under my shirt, his warm palms grazing down the sensitive skin of my ribcage. He lifted the hem slightly, his eyes meeting mine, his were filled with something that made me catch my breath—a mixture of relief and desire and love. I took the hem from his fingers and lifted my shirt the rest of the way and tossed it on the floor.
His hands returned to my skin and he gripped my waist and then brought one of his hands around to my back again, running his fingers up my spine, pressing gently on each vertebra as if convincing himself I was real, as if those tiny parts were proof of my existence. Tenderness swelled in my heart and I drew in a quick breath.
Calder's eyes darted to mine and he stood, coming to his full height, the naked heat of his skin touching mine. He brought his hands up my arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake and I shivered slightly.
"Are you cold?" he whispered.
I shook my head, no.
If the night before had been about testing the sturdiness—the reality of our bodies—this night was about taking in the details, investigating each swell and ridge - the miracle of fingertips, and hipbones, and shoulder blades, the beauty of lips, the curve of an ear, the hollow at the base of a throat. We explored each place slowly and reverently with hands and lips and tongues until I was dizzy with desire and bursting with love and thankfulness.