Fighting Solitude (On The Ropes #3)(74)

Scary things had happened while I’d been alone in that bedroom.

Her drug-induced, manic laughter.

Her screams—some in pain, some in pleasure.

The worst had been when the sounds would disappear though.

Was it over or just beginning?

The silence.

The only defense mechanism I’d had at that age was to spend as much time as possible at our neighbor’s house. She wasn’t particularly a kind old woman, but she adored reading to me from her Bible. Her lessons were usually only good to inform me of the terrible sins my mother committed each day. I could overlook that though. I just liked the company. The interaction. The safety.

She quickly took it upon herself to teach me how to read from her Bible. I hated it, but for those hours, I’d sit next to her in a chair, forcing myself to sound out words I didn’t understand, just so I didn’t have to go home.

After my mother died, my struggle to trust only amplified. So much so that even a relationship with my father was difficult at first. He was so nice to me, but I feared the moment that would change. I did the only thing I could think of: I showed him a little girl who was easy to love, not the troubled tomboy that existed below the surface.

When Quarry entered my life, he wasn’t a man. And I immediately opened myself up to him. In hindsight, my heart had been too fragile to give to an equally troubled ten-year-old boy. But maybe that’s exactly why I’d given it to him in the first place. The quiet storm brewing in those hazel eyes had been so familiar that I’d instantly felt a connection.

And there I was, lying in his bed, staring at his ceiling, after he had spent years trying to put me back together, most recently by offering me the few remaining shards of his own heart to fill in the lost pieces of my own.

In many ways, I was still that lost little girl—too scared to trust but too terrified of being alone.

I closed my eyes and allowed the countless memories of our past to filter through me.

All the times he’d been there for me, even when he, himself, had been barely breathing.

All the times the lights had been left on and the music had been left blaring all night long.

And, last but not least, I finally realized that maybe I really had always trusted Quarry Page, no matter what I’d told myself. I’d been hiding my feelings and guarding myself my entire life. I shouldn’t have given my heart to Quarry the boy. But, without question, I was ready to give it back to the man.

And then I promptly had a panic attack.

But, when that was over, I threw the covers back, got dressed, and set out to the gym to watch my sexy boxer work out before officially introducing him to my father as my boyfriend.




The gym was still dark when I pulled up. I drove around to the back parking lot only to find it vacant. My watch read six a.m. Even if he had stopped to grab some breakfast instead of his usual protein shake at the gym, he should have been there. I snagged my phone off the passenger’s seat and sent him a quick text.

Me: Where ya at?

His reply came almost immediately.

Quarry: I’m about to get in the ring… You okay?

I got out of my car and checked up and down the street. His Porsche was pretty hard to miss though, and as suspected, I came up empty.

I racked my brain, trying to remember if there was possibly anywhere else he could have been getting in the ring, but like before, I came up empty again.

Me: I’m fine. Are you at the gym?

Quarry: Yeah, babe. You need something? I need to get my gloves on.

My heart sank, and the backs of my eyes stung.

But my fingers didn’t move to type my reply. I could only blink at the screen.

I reread his message a dozen times, and each time I typed a different response. Some were concerned. Some were snarky. And, admittedly, some were even jealous.

I deleted them all.

This was Quarry. He didn’t lie to me.

Me: What gym?

Quarry: My gym. Do you NEED something? I have to go.

My nose burned, and my stomach wrenched. I was so confused that I didn’t even know what conclusion to jump to. And, God, did I want to jump to some conclusions. My mind raced with a million different scenarios. Some good, like maybe he was planning another over-the-top date for us. Some bad, like he was having an early morning breakfast with one of his random girls he’d sleep with after fights. Some really bad, like maybe he was having second thoughts about us and needed some time alone to figure out a way to let me down easy.

It had to be something big though. Quarry Page was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar. I decided not to beat around the bush.

Me: Yes. I need to know why the hell you’re lying to me.

Quarry: About what?

I laughed, not finding one single solitary thing funny. Quickly losing my patience with the entire exchange, I clicked out of my messages and dialed his number. My anxiety was climbing rapidly in expectation of a straight answer.

Panic hit me like a brick wall when I got his voicemail.

My phone pinged in my hand almost immediately.

Quarry: Text. I don’t have my hearing aids in. I’m about to get in the ring!

I was already clinging by a thread to sanity, but that damn exclamation point pushed me right over the edge. Clenching my teeth, I quickly typed another message.

I should have deleted it.

I hit send.

Me: You f*cking liar!

Quarry: Excuse me?