Fighting Fate (Fighting #7)(58)

“Dating someone? Why didn’t you tell us?” my mom says between sniffles.

“He wasn’t someone I was proud of, and it turns out… I was right not to be.”

Blake scrubs his face with his hand. “Fuck.” He moves to Killian and offers him a hand. “I’m sorry, Killer.”

Killian glares between Blake’s hand and his face and finally grabs hold and allows Blake to pull him to his feet. Blake grabs an ice pack from the freezer and wraps it in a clean dishtowel then hands it to Killian, who accepts it graciously and presses it to his cheek.

“Da-da?” The tiny whispered word comes from around the corner where Jack is peeking in with wide and teary eyes.

Blake jumps and moves to his son. “Hey…” He scoops him up and cradles him to his chest. “I’m sorry, bud. Everything’s okay.” He continues to soothe Jack by taking him out of the kitchen and back towards the bedrooms.

My mom looks between Killian and me and then follows behind Blake to disappear down the hallway.

Silence expands between us until I can’t stand the awkwardness for another second. I brace myself and face him, pulling up every bit of strength I have left just to meet his troubled gaze. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I meant it. All of it. I want to take care of you.”

“Yeah, well, take a number.” I fist my hair in my hands and attempt to sort my thoughts.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that it’s time I started taking care of myself.” I should’ve done it years ago, but I was so wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself I allowed everyone else to feel sorry for me too. “God, I’m such a mess.”

He reaches out and covers my hand with his. “Ax, you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Yes, I do.” I sigh and turn to my best friend, his swollen eye a painful reminder of why I can’t accept his offer. “Killian, you made a mistake by falling in love with me. If you’re smart, you’ll take the European thing and go. I have nothing to offer you if you stay.”

*





Killian





Damn.

That hurts.

I’d rather take a thousand hits from Blake than hear her utter another word in that blank tone that’s heavy with finality.

I just offered her my life. I stood before her parents and laid claim to that f*ckface Clifford’s baby. I would’ve raised the kid as if he or she were my own because that baby growing in her belly is half Axelle, and, for me, that’s more than enough.

I’d work my ass off to get fights, do whatever it took to provide for her and our baby. Yeah, I laid all that shit out there and she rejected me, threw the idea out as if it wasn’t as desirable as the alternative.

A life attached to Clifford.

“What we had these last couple days…” I move to her and cup her cheeks. “We can have that again.”

She shakes her head in my hold and closes her eyes. “Everything’s changed.”

“Not the things that matter. I’m still in love with you.”

Her hands come to mine, and for a moment, I see our future unfold: her baby in my arms as I stare down with the love of a father and our lives intertwined forever. I could have her, all of her, take care of her as long as we both shall live.

She gazes up at me with tears in her eyes. “I have so many regrets, Killian, but this, this right here, will prove to be my biggest. I’ve taken a lot of help over the years; you’ve been there through all of it. I won’t let you sacrifice your future for me.” She steps back. “Go to Europe.”

My vision shatters. “I don’t want to. I want to stay with you.” Desperate to hold her close, knowing I’m about to lose her, I pull her to my body. “Marry me. Let me have you and this baby. Please.”

She grips my shirt at my chest, clinging to me. “I can’t. As much as I want to, I can’t take the easy way out this time.”

My throat gets tight and my eyes burn.

“You saw what I went through with Stewart, how much it f*cked me up finding out that the man I thought was my dad really wasn’t. I can’t do that to this baby. I refuse to do it.”

“No one will ever know.”

She pulls away and peers up at me with a shaky smile. “Of course they will, and if not in the next few years, they will eventually. And when the kid is sixteen and trying to figure out where he or she fits in the world and finds out you’re not the biological father…” She shakes her head. “No, I have the power to make things right for this baby, and I’m going to do it.”

I push back and put distance between us, disgust rolling through me. “So you’re going back to Clifford? You and him going to take a crack at it? You’ll be his barefoot little wife waiting on him hand and foot while he’s off f*cking half of Las Vegas?”

“Of course not!”

“Then what’s your plan?”

She blinks. “I… I don’t know. I just found out I’m pregnant two hours ago!”

“So that’s it. You’re putting an end to what we have?”

She wraps her arms around her waist. “I won’t be responsible for ruining your life.”