Fighting Fate (Fighting #7)(56)

“Over where?” The question flies from my lips with a tinge of irritation attached to it because it seems like they’re talking about something important and yet it’s the first I’ve ever heard of it.

“You didn’t tell her?” Blake’s eyes are focused on Killian.

He shrugs. “Why would I?”

“Oh f*ck, man, I don’t know, maybe because she’d talk some sense into your dumb ass.”

I swivel around and take in Killian, who has his chin dropped to his chest. “What’s he talking about?” I whisper.

He licks his lips, lifts his head, but still doesn’t look at me. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” Blake’s arms tense at his sides. “How can you say it’s nothing? I mean, ’cause f*ck me, I thought you wanted to be a UFL fighter.”

“Blake, I do, but—”

“So you pass up the opportunity to fight in London for one year and get a shot at a title fight representing your f*cking country?”

“What? When did this happen?” Excitement, pride, and devastation war within, and it’s f*cked-up combination leaves me dizzy. “You had a chance for all that and you said no?”

He runs two hands over his face and groans. “No, it wasn’t like that.”

Blake makes a disgusted sound, and I lean in to Killian. “Cross your heart, remember?”

He sighs hard, and then for the first time since this morning, his eyes meet mine. “Yes. Okay? I had the opportunity, but I turned it down. Happy?”

“No, f*ck…” I shake my head. “No, I’m not happy. Killian, you should go.”

“I knew you’d say that,” he mumbles.

“Because you know it’s the right thing to do.”

“I don’t want to—”

“Why not!”

“Because—”

“Because why?”

“Because of you, alright?”

I jerk away from him with a gasp.

His gaze slides between me and a stunned-looking Blake. “I don’t want to leave you, Ax.”

I open my mouth to either scream at him for being an idiot or to confess my undying love. I’m not sure, so I shut my mouth and stare.

He tilts his head, only looking at me from the corner of his eye. “A year away, anything could’ve happened, and”—he sighs—“I didn’t want to miss my chance.”

Blake’s standing back, eyes narrowed on Killian when the front door opens and my mom’s hollered “I’m home!” comes filtering into the kitchen.

I duck my chin as frustration bubbles to the surface. Killian never should’ve made this decision based on me. Guilt settles heavily over my shoulders and I slump into myself. As if I don’t have enough to feel like shit about, now I can pat myself on the back for ruining the career of the man I love, who, now that I’m f*cking pregnant with another man’s baby, I’ve already lost anyway.

“Hey, guys.” My mom moves through the kitchen with a squirming Jack in her arms. She must sense the tension because she sidles up to Blake. “What’s going on?”

Jack manages to squirm free and toddle back to his toys in the living room.

Blake slings his arm around mom’s shoulder and pulls her in for a hug. “Nothing, Mouse. It’s all good.” He goes on to ask her how her appointment was, compliments her on her hair, and small talks her to distraction.

The air between Killian and me strains with what needs to be said. My mind tumbles in a thousand different directions, and not one of them leads me to a happy ending.

I’ve disappointed every single person I love, and they don’t even know it yet. I’ve signed away the rest of my life by getting pregnant, and I’ll have to face Clifford, that *, and beg him to be part of our baby’s life.

And my mom…f*ck. She’ll be crushed. My entire life she warned me against making the same mistakes she did. She swore I was the best thing that ever happened to her but always piggybacked that with a strict “Don’t throw your life away like I did” speech.

This is going to kill her.

Nausea sweeps through me, and I brace my forearms on the counter resting my forehead on them and breathing through the tightness in my throat. A warm hand immediately comes to my comfort, rubbing up and down my spine in soothing strokes.

Killian.

God, I’m going to miss him.

“Baby, are you okay?” My mom comes to my side and pushes my hair away to place her hand on the back of my neck.

I nod, but the lump in my throat grows bigger.

“She sick?” Blake whispers the question to Killian, who must reply in a non-verbal of some kind.

“Let me grab you some medicine for your stomach.” My mom shifts away.

“No.” The single word grates from my throat. I push up and meet Killian’s eyes. At first, his expression seems shocked, as if he knows what I’m about to do, but then his face morphs to understanding and finally approval.

“Kiddo, listen to your mom.” Blake moves around the counter and presses his palm to my forehead. “Take something and get some rest.”

“I can’t take anything.”

Killian shifts to stand at my back, and the supportive move catches Blake’s attention as well as my mom’s. They stare between us.