Fight to the Finish (First to Fight #3)(53)

“I can imagine.”

“I joked with myself later that Zach literally kicked me across the stage to take my diploma. He was the reason I graduated at all.”

“What did your parents think?”

“They didn’t know, at the time. I hadn’t told anyone, even Marianne. I was determined to make it through high school before telling anyone. Fortunately, those tops that are sort of tight around the bust and then flow out around your waist were in style at the time, so I was able to carry it off the last few weeks of school.”

“And once you told your parents? You never really talk about them. Do they not live around?”

Her hand shook as she reached up to redo her hair into another messy bun. “They do. They haven’t seen Zach since he was about five, except for one time maybe two years ago when he and I ran into my mother in Target by complete accident. She . . .” Kara took a deep breath, and let it out again on a shudder. “She looked at me, with this shocked sort of horror, then turned and walked away. Like I was a stranger. Nothing to her.”

Graham simply rubbed her shoulder.

“They . . . don’t agree with the life I’ve set up for myself.”

His hand tightened, just a little, on her shoulder. “What, being an awesome mother who provides for her kid even when his father won’t? Being a smart entrepreneur with a mind on growing that small business? Being healthy and keeping her son’s allergies in check, which is a daily battle, while helping other people who are facing the same challenges? Yeah. I can see where the disappointment comes into play.” His voice was full of scorn, and anger.

She patted his knee gently, then took her hand back. “It used to matter. It doesn’t anymore. But thanks for that. I’ve never considered myself an entrepreneur before.”

“Of course you are. Your blog earns money. It’s a small business. You gain and maintain private yoga clients. Give yourself some credit, Kara.”

I love you. I love you so much.

It would hurt them both, deeply, if she admitted it out loud.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I eventually told them I was pregnant, well past the time for an abortion—”

“Would they have wanted you to get one?”

“Maybe, if they’d known right away. My gut says they would have pressured me, intensely, to get one, but who knows? I just knew I didn’t want to give them the option. But when they did find out, they went straight into adoption mode. Save Kara’s future. Save the family’s reputation. Nobody needs to know. Kara can go live with an aunt in Missouri until the baby is born. We’ll say she went on an internship and will start college in the spring.” She squeezed her eyes shut at the memory. “They’d written him off before even meeting him. It was painful. So painful. I had this little person inside me, clinging to my heart it felt like daily, and they were going to take him and hand him to someone else and expect me to just move on.”

“Oh, baby.” He reached for her, and because of the pain, she let him hold her. When he kissed the corners of her eyes, she realized she’d been crying. “Maybe they were just in over their heads, trying to figure out how to help you.”

“They didn’t even ask. When I told them I wanted to keep him, they wrote me off. Told me to get out. I stayed with Henry for three days. He was older, by almost four years. Had his own apartment—with a roommate—and I thought this would be it. This would be our new normal. Come to find out, the roommate was a female, and it was not a strictly platonic roommate situation.”

He hissed out a breath, the sound harsh in her ears.

“Doesn’t matter. He saved me the effort of waiting around for him to step up. I had been working part time, and they kicked it up to full time for me. Slept in the guest room at Marianne’s parents’ house for a while. They’re wonderful people. They warned me I couldn’t stay past the summer, and that was fine. But then every night, Frank—that’s Marianne’s dad—would sit down with me and go over plans for the future. He’d work on a budget with me, help me figure out which apartments I could afford . . . dad stuff.”

“I’ve never met the guy, but I could kiss him.”

“Save that for Mary, her mom. That woman saw exactly what I was, under the bravado and the I’m fine, it’s fine, we’re all fine answers I gave. She knew I was terrified of being a mom, and with zero guidance from my own mother. She helped, a little, picking out maternity clothes. She’d bring something home for me and lay it on the bed, telling me don’t worry about it. It was on sale, she couldn’t resist. Probably wasn’t, now that I think back. I love them.”

He made a sound of agreement and held her tighter.

“Basically, they gave me a safety net, but didn’t let me rest on my ass. They coached me into adulthood. So I started on my journey to independence. We had nothing for a long time, surviving on welfare . . .” She hadn’t told anyone besides the Cooks that before. It embarrassed her.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare feel bad for using assistance when you obviously needed it. That’s bullshit, Kara. It gave you and Zach a head start. Don’t ever regret it.”

“You’re right.” Shaky breath in, shaky breath out. “Anyway, the rest of it is pretty clear. Henry helps as little as legally possible, and often less than that. He finds things here and there to hold over our heads to keep us from taking him back to court for nonpayment.”