Fifty Shades Darker(134)

"I'm not jealous." I'm wounded that he would think that - or am I? Shit. Maybe that's what this is. "You don't love her," I murmur.

He sighs again. He really is pissed. "A long time ago, I thought I loved her," he says through gritted teeth.

Oh. "When we were in Georgia... you said you didn't love her."

"That's right."

I frown.

"I loved you then, Anastasia," he whispers. "You're the only person I'd fly three thousand miles to see."

Oh my. I don't understand. He still wanted me as a sub then. My frown deepens.

"The feelings I have for you are very different from any I ever had for Elena," he says by way of explanation.

"When did you know?"

He shrugs. "Ironically, it was Elena who pointed it out to me. She encouraged me to go to Georgia."

I knew it! I knew it in Savannah. I gaze at him, blankly.

What do I make of this? Maybe she is on my side and just worried that I'll hurt him.

The thought is painful. I would never want to hurt him. She's right - he's been hurt enough.

Perhaps she's not so bad. I shake my head. I don't want to accept his relationship with her. I disapprove. Yes, that's what this is. She's an unsavory character who preyed on a vulnerable adolescent, robbing him of his teenage years, no matter what he says.

"So you desired her? When you were younger."

"Yes."

Oh.

"She taught me a great deal. She taught me to believe in myself."

Oh. "But she also beat the shit out of you."

He smiles fondly. "Yes, she did."

"And you liked that?"

"At the time I did."

"So much that you wanted to do it to others?"

His eyes grow wide and serious. "Yes."

"Did she help you with that?"

"Yes."

"Did she sub for you?"

"Yes."

Holy f*ck. "Do you expect me to like her?" My voice sounds brittle and bitter.

"No. Though it would make my life a hell of a lot easier," he says wearily. "I do understand your reticence."

"Reticence! Jeez, Christian - if that were your son, how would you feel?"

He blinks at me as though he doesn't comprehend the question. He frowns. "I didn't have to stay with her. It was my choice, too, Anastasia," he murmurs.

This is getting me nowhere.

"Who's Linc?"

"Her ex-husband."

"Lincoln Timber?"

"The very same," he smirks.

"And Isaac?"

"Her current submissive."

Oh no.

"He's in his mid-twenties, Anastasia. You know - a consenting adult," he adds quickly, correctly deciphering my look of disgust.

I flush. "Your age," I mutter.

"Look, Anastasia, as I said to her, she's part of my past. You are my future. Don't let her come between us, please. And quite frankly, I'm really bored of this subject. I'm going to do some work." He stands and gazes down at me. "Let it go. Please."

I stare mulishly up at him.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he adds. "Your car arrived a day early. It's in the garage. Taylor has the key."

Whoa... the Saab? "Can I drive it tomorrow?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You know why not. And that reminds me. If you are going to leave your office, let me know. Sawyer was there, watching you. It seems I can't trust you to look after yourself at all." He scowls down at me, making me feel like an errant child - again. And I would argue with him, but he's pretty worked up over Elena, and I don't want to push him any further, but I can't resist one comment.