Fauxmance (Showmance #2)(93)

Again, I resisted the urge to touch her and underlined the part I thought she should consider changing. Sasha asks Ralph, the escort who has agreed to be anonymously interviewed for her column, if he ever sees a day when he’ll retire and settle down. Ralph says no, it’s not in his nature to be monogamous.

“I don’t think Ralph should be so certain in his answer. In the books, it says he’s thirty-five and has been working as an escort for twelve years. That’s a long time. I think he might be a little jaded at this point in his career. I think he would be more open to trying out a different way of life, if the right lady came along. Maybe he doesn’t want it outright, but I think it’s something he would at least consider.”

Ellen was quiet, listening to me speak as she made notes in the margins. “Are you speaking from personal experience?” she asked, her voice deceptively casual as she continued scribbling down notes.

“That is what I’ve been hired for, to give my personal opinion based on experience.”

She was quiet again, then said, “So, you’ve felt jaded?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I wouldn’t have stopped working if I didn’t feel that way.”

“Any particular reason?”

I dragged a hand down my face. “There are a few.”

Finally, she looked at me. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

I saw her throat bob as she swallowed. “For not understanding your situation better. It must’ve been so jarring to have me come along and just expect you to…”

“Expect me to?”

She heaved a frustrated breath, appeared to steel herself. “Expect you to give your entire self to me, to make yourself so vulnerable when it’s something you normally guard against.”

I took the seat next to hers, grabbed her hands and shifted her so that she faced me. “Ellen, you didn’t expect anything. You drew me in, yes, but I came willingly.”

Her gaze dropped shyly to her lap. “And how do you feel about monogamy now that you aren’t working as an escort anymore? Is it something you see yourself possibly being interested in?”

“Ellen, I—”

Her hopeful eyes flicked up. “Yes?”

I took a deep breath, levelled her with a firm look and decided to lay all my cards on the table. “A lifetime with just one person wouldn’t feel like a life sentence if I got to spend it with you.”

Her breath hitched, eyelashes fluttering. “I…that’s very…”

“Romantic?”

Her voice was airy. “Yes, but, do you mean to say you want to be with me? You want us to try again?”

I brushed my thumb across the inside of her wrist and held her gaze. I made sure there was no way she could misinterpret my meaning when I replied, “Ellen, I would be the luckiest man on earth if you were to give me a second chance.”

I saw the turmoil and uncertainty in her eyes. It was expected, since I’d given her enough reason not to trust me by breaking up with her.

“I don’t want to rush,” she whispered, a tremble in her voice.

I pulled her into my arms. “I would never rush you. Just know I’m here waiting for you, whenever you’re ready.”

She moved away, seeming to gather herself as she cleared her throat and quickly switched back to our original topic of conversation. “You’re right about Ralph. In the film. He shouldn’t be so closed off to the idea of monogamy. I’ll make some changes to the dialogue and run them by Damon. Do you mind if I keep this copy of the script? I’ll return it to you later today.”

“Sure.”

She stood, tucked the script into her bag and headed for the door. I reached out to halt her, lightly catching hold of her elbow. “Ellen.”

She stilled and looked back at me. Her eyes were so big, so open, so guileless.

“Yes?”

“Really do think about it. Don’t make any rash decisions. I know I have a lot to make up to you, but I’m not going anywhere. Like I said, whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

When she left, I felt like she took my heart right along with her.





*



ELLEN





After informing Damon of the small changes to the script, I left the set early. I told Nick he could stay and hang out if he wanted, but he declined and came home with me anyway. I needed time to think about what Julian had said. Yes, I loved and adored him, but I worried about him getting cold feet again. What if he suddenly decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore, just like he did after Dad’s wedding?

I couldn’t go through that again.

Suze’s birthday was coming up, so I decided to immerse myself in some shopping to take my mind off things. I felt like I owed her an amazing gift after everything I’d put her through, which was why I was browsing the handbags at Selfridges. I knew she was a fan of Marc Jacobs. I was trying to decide between several options when a familiar voice said, “Pardon my intrusion, but do I know you from somewhere?”

On the other side of the handbag display stood Warren Gold. He had several shopping bags on his arm, but unlike the last two times I’d met him, he wasn’t accompanied by a lady friend. My chest thrummed at the sight of him, nerves fluttering in my belly. How on earth had he recognised me?