Fauxmance (Showmance #2)(5)

“Yes, and I look forward to meeting your friend. Please do send me a couple of pictures and his measurements so I can decide what outfits to put him in.”

“Will do. Do you need mine as well?”

She grinned and ran her eyes down my body. “No need. I already sized you up the moment you spilled your coffee.”

I chuckled at that. Quite like Elodie, Suze was my type of lady. At least, I’d thought Elodie was my type. Suze went, and I sat back down, wondering about Elodie’s sudden departure and personality one-eighty. Did I smell bad? Was it something I said? Did I remind her of a cheating ex? Really, it could’ve been anything, but disappointment still filled me. I thought that once we finally met, we’d get along like a house on fire.

Instead, she’d fled the house running and screaming.

Oh, well. Perhaps she’d turn up for Suze’s show this weekend. That would give me a second chance to win her over. I’d be my most charming self, and if all went to plan, she’d be mine before the night was through.





Chapter Two





Ellen





I’d never seen a more beautiful man in my life.

He was so pretty he could’ve been a girl, and I was a tongue-tied, sweaty, anxious mess the moment he introduced himself. What on earth was wrong with me?

Okay, there were many answers to that question. One of which was that on Tuesday mornings I put on a disguise and pretended to be someone I wasn’t. You know, the usual.

I was in a strange sort of denial. A part of me knew what I was doing was wrong, but I just couldn’t seem to give up my friendship with Suze. She looked up to me like I was a goddess, an expert man tamer who could have anyone I wanted. Little did she know, I was about as adept at flirting as a shark on dry land.

I was, however, an expert fantasist. I could make up a story like you wouldn’t believe, which was why Suze had no idea her pal Elodie was a fraud.

I never should’ve let things get this far, but I was addicted to the admiration. I’d always felt more at ease pretending to be someone else, but up until about six months ago, it had only ever been in the safety of my own mind.

I’d attended Gay Pride with my boss, Bernice, and her partner, Felicity. Bernice owned the Zigzag Bookshop, where I worked part-time. She invited me along and we went to see a drag show. There was a competition at the end for a makeover, and lo and behold, I won.

One of the most convincing female impersonators I ever saw remade me. I was transformed from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly when I stepped out of that dressing room with long red hair, green eyes, and clothing that fit tight to every inch of my body.

Weirdly, I’d never felt more myself.

Bernice and Felicity went home, while I went to a bar. I wasn’t the type to go drinking alone, but in my disguise, I felt confident, fearless. If I didn’t have to be me, then I could be anyone. I didn’t have to fear rejection or worry about embarrassing myself.

At the bar was where I met Suze. She sat next to me, waiting for her husband to get out of a business meeting for their date night. At first, I was struck by how cool she was. She wore a leopard print miniskirt, a paisley top, and neon pink heels. Miraculously, she managed to pull off the mismatched look. Suze was one of those people who could wear a thrift shop outfit and make it look expensive.

She introduced herself and I shook her hand. I opened my mouth, and somehow, Elodie just flowed out of me. Even the way I spoke was different. I turned into a wise-talking, take no prisoners man-eater who was about as far away from the real me as you could get.

Who knew a wig, contact lenses, makeup, and a new outfit could achieve such miracles?

Or maybe I was developing some sort of personality disorder. Since I spent most of my days alone, I wouldn’t be surprised. Isolation could do strange things to people.

I thought it was harmless enough to lie, since we weren’t going to see each other again. But then she offered to exchange numbers. Before long we became Tuesday morning coffee buddies. It turned out Suze’s studio was only a ten-minute walk from my house, though thankfully she’d never asked to come visit. I was lucky she was always busy with work.

Still, I hated that I’d let things get this far, but I wasn’t ready to give her up yet. Having grown up in a house full of men, a female friend was a luxury I didn’t take for granted.

Then Mr. Tall, Dark, and Beautiful had to go spill his coffee on our table and I behaved like a speechless, inarticulate schoolgirl. All this time I’d been acting like men were putty in my hands. No wonder Suze was perplexed. And to top it all off, she offered for him to model at her fashion show. I’d been so looking forward to attending. I was going to step up my game and try to be Elodie in a larger social setting, but no way could I go now, not if he was going to be there.

There was something about him that flustered me, like if he looked too long, he’d see past my disguise. And I had a feeling not even a ridiculously expensive, handmade, human hair wig would fool him.

I dropped my keys on the entry table then wandered into the kitchen to say hello to my lovebirds, Skittles and Rainbow. I opened the window to let some fresh air in, then put the kettle on for tea. While it was boiling, I popped upstairs to remove my wig and makeup. Little by little my true self was revealed; light brown hair, big ole tortoiseshell glasses, pale freckled skin, brown eyes.