Falling Down(64)

"Jesse," I shake his shoulder gently.
"Hmm."
"I need to use the restroom." And then I need to run like the fires of hell are blazing on my heels.
He rolls to the side and I pad to the bathroom. I do my business and wash my hands. I splash some cold water on my cheeks. My face is flushed and glowing. Shit.
I twist my hair up into a messy bun and head back to the bedroom to get my phone. I need to call Max for a ride.
Jesse watches me as I do, his expression unreadable. My heart is pounding so hard I honestly feel like it's going to jump out of my chest. Fear. Pain. Anxiety.
Jesse meets me at the end of the bed where my clothes litter across the floor. He's eyeing me warily.
"I'm going to take a quick shower, if that's okay?"
"Of course."
I turn the water on. I don't need to turn around to know Jesse's standing behind me. I step under the spray, leaving the shower door open knowing he's coming in with me.
He grabs the body wash and squeezes some into his hands. He works up a lather then motions me forward. I step toward him and he begins washing my body, starting at my neck, working down the front of my body, then paying the same wonderful attention to my back. I look up at the ceiling and blink back the tears I don't want him to see. I rinse my body off. Then, being the masochist I am, I take the body wash and wash his body. While we're in the shower not one word is muttered yet each time our eyes meet there's so much being said.
I don't want you to go.
I have to.
I wasn't expecting this.
Neither was I.
Lucy.
Jesse.
I rinse my hands and Jesse steps under the spray. I step out of the shower and dry myself off quickly then wrap the towel around my body. I step into the Jacuzzi room and stop in front of the mirror. I look like shit. Ugh. There's not much I can do about it now. I walk into the bedroom with Jesse right behind me.
He slips on his boxer briefs and picks up my lavender lacy boy shorts and holds them out for me to step into. He gently and slowly tugs them up my legs and over my hips. Next he stands and slides my arms through my bra straps, positions the cups, then hooks the back. He straightens the straps and even adjusts my breasts. I should be embarrassed by this but after everything Jesse's done to my body over the last four days, I can't even muster a blush.
"Your underwear is so hot. Do you always wear that? The lacy and sexy shit?"
"Mhmm."
"Damn. I'm going to be picturing that every time I see you on TV or in a magazine."
I step into my shorts as he holds them, then slides them up my body, his fingers caressing my thighs as he does. He buttons then zips them. He pulls my camisole over my head and pushes my arms through each hole before tugging it straight.
His gaze locks onto mine and I feel the telltale prickles starting behind my eyes. No. I can't cry. Not here. Not now. This can't happen. My nose twitches and he smirks.
"Itch?" he asks, itching my nose for me.
Shit. Why is he being so sweet? I can't handle this.
"I should go, Jesse."
He nods. "I know you have things to do before tomorrow."
Oh God. I close my eyes for a brief minute.
"I do."
I slip my sandals on and stand there looking at him as he stares at me.
He steps forward and pulls me into his arms, holding me close. Oh god, oh God, oh God. Tears blur my vision. No. No Lucy. No. Look up and breathe. Just make it out of here before you lose it.
"Lucy."
He presses kisses along my forehead, cheek, jaw, chin and finally to my lips. Just a soft brush of his lips against mine and he pulls back, his thumb and forefinger hold my chin and I know he sees the shimmer of tears in my eyes but he doesn't say anything.
"Jesse," I breathe. "Thank you for this weekend."