Fall From Grace(57)

“No big deal, see?”

“No big deal?  I leaned you up against a wall; I can still taste your skin on my mouth.  I can still feel your body against mine.”

For the life of me, I couldn’t think of anything to say.  What he just said was so intoxicating that I didn’t want to say anything to make him do it again, or make him not want to.

Gently, he took my wrists in both his hands skimming his thumbs against my scars once more.  My heart sped up from his touch.  I turned my head away from him; waiting for the insensitive questions people always asked when they noticed my scars.  Did you just do it for attention?  Did you have a plan?  Was there a backup plan?  Will you try it again since you failed the first time?  Instead, his soft gentle voice asked, “Why were you crying this morning?”

Dragging my hands away from his touch, I let them fall limply to my sides.  “I received a letter in the mail today from the hospice where Jacob passed away.  Inside was a letter that he had written for me before he died. It was just hard to read it.”

Taking my hands tenderly in his, his breath caught.  “Grace...”

The way he said my name made me ache. It shattered my already broken heart to dust.  The tears came, streaming like rain down my cheeks.  Shane pulled me into his arms and I fell into him.  He gently stroked my hair as I let my sadness overtake me.

He held me until my tears stopped.  I looked up at him, and smiled weakly, “I’m sorry, Shane.”

I tried to move away from him, but he gently held me tighter.  He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.  It felt like last night all over.  Only this time, he wasn’t drunk.

He raised his head, just enough to look into my eyes, and breathed in softly.  His blue eyes were captivating.  He held himself there, almost touching my lips; just a soft breath between them.  I watched the inner struggle in his eyes as they looked down longingly to my lips.  Then, meeting my gaze again, he closed his eyes and trembled.  He inhaled deeply and stepped back; my disobedient body followed.  I had to ball my fists and force myself to stand my ground.  There was no way someone could have this effect over my body; it was insane; it was mortifying.

The shrill ringing of the doorbell made us both jump.  I gave him a small tight smile, thinking of the horrible mistake I could have just thrown myself into. I backed away.

“Please don’t be sorry, Grace,” his words were soft and gentle.  “I am your friend and I’m here if you need to talk about anything or need a shoulder to cry on.”

The doorbell continued ringing like a screaming child wanting attention in the background.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

I spun around to walk towards the front door.

“Especially if that’s the only way I’ll ever get to hold you,” he whispered.  I didn’t think it was meant for me to hear, but I looked back to acknowledge it anyway.  He was looking up at the ceiling, running both his hands through his hair.  No, it wasn’t meant for me to hear, which made it all the more dangerous.

I opened the door to two men in suits with gold police shields held out in front of them.  “Good afternoon.  We’re detectives from the 19th precinct.  We’re looking for a Grace Taylor.”  Shane was behind me immediately.

“I’m Grace Taylor.  How may I help you?”

“Miss Taylor, may we come in.  We need to speak to you about the incident with Carl Sumpton.”

I waved both the detectives in and showed them to the living room, shoving Shane’s makeshift bed things over so we all had room to sit.  “I’m sorry, Detectives, but I’m not sure who Carl Sumpton is, unless you are referring to the man who attacked me in Boozer’s late Wednesday night?”