FADING (A novel)(4)

“Did I wake you?” he whispers.

“Yeah, but it’s okay,” I mumble quietly. “What time is it?”

“Around two. You passed out, so I carried you in here and hung out with Kimber for a while longer.”

“Is she asleep?”

“Yeah, and snoring like a beast.” We both laugh quietly at his words.

I roll over in his arms to face him in the dark, even though we can’t see each other. I lay my head on his chest, and he wraps one arm around my waist and the other cups the back of my head.

“So, why did your trip really suck? I know something’s bothering you.”

Jase lets out a long sigh before saying, “I told them.”

I wrap my arms tighter around him. “What did they say?”

“They threw me out.”

My heart breaks and a quiet tear escapes my eye and rolls onto his bare chest.

“I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I don’t know. I was embarrassed, I guess. I haven’t told anyone what happened. I don’t want the pity.”

“You know I don’t pity you, right?”

“Yeah,” he whispers and kisses the top of my head.

“I’m sad because I love you. When your heart hurts, so does mine. Your pain is my pain.”

We lie there together holding each other as my heart breaks to sync up with his already broken one. I love Jase. He’s my best friend. We have a deep connection that runs through us and links us together. He has had a lot of pain in his life. He had a sister that was two years older than him. They were extremely close, but she died in a car crash the night of her senior prom. His parents still refuse to touch her room, like they are expecting her to come home one day.

Jase was extremely confused with his sexuality in high school. He said he didn’t want to be gay and figured if he just slept with enough girls, maybe he would start to feel differently. So he slept around. A lot. He told me that growing up, he felt trapped as if he was living a lie—silently suffering on the inside as he held on to his secret. Until he came to college, no one ever knew he was gay. I’m happy he finally told his parents though. He needed to free himself of the secret he had been keeping from them. I hate that they turned their backs on their own son and would just toss him out of their home like he didn’t even matter to them.

“You know this is your home, don’t you? Right here with me. Kimber and I are your home. And we don’t give a shit that you like guys.”

Jase kisses the top of my head, and I grip my arms tighter around him.

“Jase?” I whisper.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”





Chapter Two


––––––––

I wake up to the smell of bacon and coffee. “Thank God.” I roll out of bed and make my way to the kitchen where Jase is cooking breakfast. Just another reason why I love him so much: he loves to cook, and I love to eat.

“Hey, lovely,” he says to me over his shoulder as I pad into the kitchen.

I walk over to the stove where he is scrambling some eggs, and I lift up on my toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Morning,” I say, then stroll over to grab a mug, and I begin to pour myself a cup of coffee. “What time did you wake up?”

“Early. I didn’t get much sleep. Couldn’t seem to clear my head.”

I lean back against the counter and give him a side stare. It kills me that he’s hurting so much. He peeks up at me and catches me staring.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

He continues to whisk the eggs, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m not. I’m sorry,” I say as I walk over to sit at the bar. “So, what are you up to today?”

He turns around, dumps a portion of the eggs onto a plate, and takes several slices of bacon before setting it down in front of me.

“Not much. I need to pick up my books for my classes, and then I was going to hit the gym for a couple of hours. What about you?” Jase sets his plate on the bar and sits down next to me.

“Work,” I say as I take a bite of my bacon. “I have to work all week. I also need to go up to the studio to get in some solo time before classes start.”

We continue to eat in silence for a few minutes. When I finish my breakfast, I look up at him and tease, “My ass thanks you for the bacon.” Winking at him, I walk around to the other side of the bar and rinse off my plate.

“God, you guys are up early,” Kimber says as she walks into the kitchen with her eyes squinted as if the morning light is too much for her to bear.

“It’s nine. Hardly early, Kim,” I say sarcastically.

She grabs the box of Lucky Charms and pours herself a bowl, barely opening her eyes to do so, then sits on the barstool next to Jase. He stares at her with a smirk.

“Whaa?” she says with a mouthful of milk and a magical leprechaun concoction of cereal and marshmallows.

“You have this kickass kitchen to cook in, but you continue to eat like a six-year-old kid,” he says, shaking his head and laughing.

“This shit’s good,” she says, using her spoon to point and emphasize her beloved breakfast cereal.