FADING (A novel)(14)

“Jack,” I whisper as he leans down and presses his lips against mine. I know this is wrong, and he has clearly had too much to drink, but I find myself getting caught up in the moment. I run my hand up the back of his neck and start kissing him in return. He rolls on top of me, and the weight of him presses me into the bed. Our kisses turn frantic, and my breath quickly becomes labored. He runs his hand across my stomach, hooks it into the waistband of my pants, and gently tugs down. I feel my stomach knot up, and I push away.

“I’m sorry,” I say, closing my eyes tightly. “I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“What the f*ck, Candace,” he spits out, and when I open my eyes, I see the irritated look on his face. “What’s the problem? It’s like one minute you’re all over me, and the next, you’re pushing me away. You pulled this same act the other night.”

I push back against his chest, but he doesn’t move. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little confused. I don’t want to lead you on, but—”

He crashes his mouth against mine and starts kissing me again. What the hell is he doing? I push against his shoulders, but I’m only pushing myself deeper into the bed. I feel his hand run up my inner thigh and between my legs. I gasp for air, but I feel like I can’t get enough into my lungs. I jerk my head back and forth and manage to roll onto my side. The weight is gone. Taking a deep breath, I look at Jack who is sitting on his knees in the middle of the bed.

“What the f*ck is wrong with you?” I shout as I stand up on my shaky legs.

Laughing at me, he says, “You can stop with the good-girl act, Candace.” He says my name like it’s dripping in disdain. He climbs off of the bed and starts walking towards me. “I just can’t figure you out, and it’s starting to frustrate me. I like you, but I get the feeling like you’re playing me.”

“I’m not. I’m just . . . I don’t know. I just don’t think this is going to go anywhere,” I say as I stare at the floor.

Jack tightly grips my shoulders with both of his hands, pushing me backwards. I stumble a little when we hit the wall. My body turns cold, and I feel the skin on my neck prickling. I’m getting nervous, and my heartbeat quickens. What is he doing? Is he pissed? Shit, I just want to leave. I just want to go home and pretend this night never happened. It’s been weird from the start, and it’s only getting worse.

“Oh, no? And why’s that? You must think it’s funny to lead me on. Is this how you get your kicks?” He is inches from me when he speaks, his breath hot on my face.

My shoulders are trembling under his hands, and I feel the lump in my throat growing bigger, which is making it hard for me to breathe.

“I’m not jerking you around, I swear. Listen, I’m not good at this stuff. It’s not you.” My voice is shaky, and I hate that.

He pushes his body up against me and buries his face in my neck. I gasp for air and let out a whimper. I don’t want to cry, but my emotions are all over the place right now. He thrusts his hips against mine, and that is my undoing. Tears flow down my cheeks, and I’m pushing my hands against his chest, but he won’t budge.

“Jack, stop! What are you doing?” I am freaking out as he completely smothers me. Fisting my hands, I start smashing them into his chest, trying to get him off of me. I can barely see through my tears, and I wind up punching his lip. He takes a step back and wipes his mouth. It’s bleeding. He looks up at me with a murderous glare, and I know he’s about to lose it. I bolt for the door and run.

My heart is pounding against my ribs, and I struggle to breathe as I run down the stairs. Bumping shoulders with people in the crowded living room and stumbling over my shaky feet, I find the door that leads out to where Jack’s car is.

I notice I don’t have my wristlet purse that has my cell phone in it. There is no way I’m going back inside though. I quickly decide to just walk home and deal with the purse situation later. It won’t take long for me to get home if I cut through behind a few buildings. I walk fast and try to grasp what just happened, but I can’t clear my head enough to focus. My heart is starting to slow, and the tears return. I am overwhelmed, and I think it is so much more than what just happened with Jack. Confusion doesn’t even begin to describe my current state of mind.

“Candace! Wait!” I hear Jack’s voice calling from behind me.

I turn to see my tiny gold purse clutched in his hand, but fear creeps over me, and suddenly, I don’t care about the stupid purse anymore. I run.

I run fast.

I hear his feet pounding against the ground, and I know he’s running after me. FUCK! I will my legs to move faster but they won’t. My throat is on fire, and I can’t breathe. I don’t turn around to see, but I know he’s close. My whole body is burning with panic. Quickly, I cut behind a building and suddenly feel an intense stinging as the side of my face slides against the pavement. Jack is flipping me over onto my back while I desperately claw my nails into the road, pleading to break free from his grip on me. The flesh on my cheek burns as he slaps me across the face. I can’t see. Why can’t I see? I force out a weak scream and am instantly muffled by his hand.

“Shut the f*ck up,” he violently snarls in my face.

I can barely make out his face with the tears that flood my eyes. I squeeze them shut because they are burning intensely. My body is weighed down, and I can’t move beneath him. I’m not sure what’s happening, but the terror rushing through me is frightening.