Erasing Faith(15)

I wasn’t the only monster here, tonight.

My eyes tracked her as she moved deeper into the crowd, my gaze steadfast, unwilling to lose sight of her for even a moment. Every now and then, her hair would catch the light, flashing pink or green or some other hideous, fluorescent color. I ignored the feeling that swelled in my chest when I watched her laughing, her smile so bright, it practically glowed in the dark.

I hadn’t planned to follow her tonight. I had far more pressing things I could — should — be attending to at the moment.

Command had been requesting a debrief for hours. Cameras needed to be rigged on the Hermes entryways. Several suspects required tailing. Three separate phone taps had to be placed and monitored. The movements of this girl shouldn’t have been high on my list of priorities and certainly didn’t merit an in-person surveillance detail.

And yet, here I was.

Earlier, I’d watched from the shadows and overheard her chatting with her roommate as they walked home from work. As I’d listened to them discuss their plans for the evening at the club, I’d found myself struggling to justify the need to watch her tonight.

I told myself there’d be predators who could interfere with my endgame. If I didn’t protect her — as nothing more than an asset, of course — she could get into all kinds of trouble and I’d have to start over, laying the groundwork with a new mark. I fed myself bullshit excuse after excuse, knowing all the while that I was fabricating reasons to be around her.

I knew I was getting too close. I was fully aware that the smart thing to do would be to pick another girl for this assignment.

But for some reason, I couldn’t walk away from her. Not yet.

She fascinated me.

I’d been trained to watch. I could stare at the most tedious of targets for hours without so much as blinking, because it was my job and I was damn good at it. But it was no chore to watch her. She had a way of moving through life that was just… pure. Authentic. Real.

Everyone in the world had nervous tells. Trademark gestures they made when they were scared or anxious. Some people blinked too much when they were lying through their teeth; others didn’t blink at all. A truly accomplished liar might be harder to spot, but even they had telltale quirks and mannerisms that gave them away, eventually.

I’d been watching Faith Morrissey for a week now, and she didn’t have a single one.

Not because she was the best liar I’d ever met, but because she didn’t live her life by covering things up. She laid it all out there, for the world to see. Her flaws, her beauty, her innermost self. There was nothing affected or superficial about her. There wasn’t a fake bone in her body.

She didn’t do secrets, or half-truths, or lies.

In every tangible way, she was my opposite…

And a goddamned distraction I couldn’t afford.

I bit the inside of my cheek to reground myself as I turned and headed for the exit. I couldn’t believe what a f*cking * I’d become over this. How weak was I, if I couldn’t tear myself away from an average American girl? I’d never formed an attachment to a mark — never come close, not even after months of deep cover. I barely knew this girl. So, what the f*ck was my problem?

I berated myself all the way to the doors.

You’re an idiot.

You’re losing your professional edge.

You need to regain focus on the big picture, or this entire mission will fall apart.

None of my internal rebukes were enough to stop me from looking back at her one last time when I reached the exit. My eyes cut straight to her through the crowd and, despite myself, I felt my blood begin to boil when I saw some half-cocked local attempting to mount her from behind on the dance floor. The look on her face told me his attention wasn’t welcome.

Walk away, Wes. This isn’t your business.

I sighed. Bit my cheek. Cursed myself.

Fuck.

Not two minutes later, I’d shoved my way through the mob to reach them. His back was to me and his arms were still wrapped tight around her torso. Seeing his uncoordinated thrusts, the way he ground himself against her, instantly had me clenching my jaw. I felt my hands curl into fists even as my internal voice screamed to walk away.

Self-restraint had never been my strong suit.

One swift undercut to the left kidney and a strategically placed boot sent him reeling. With nothing more than a quiet oof of pain, he was gone, quickly lost in the crowd. The glare I shot after him made sure he’d stay lost.

Before she could turn fully around to see what had happened to her dance partner, I was already fading into the crowd. For the briefest instant, I let my gaze meet hers across the sea of bodies. Her confused caramel eyes went wide in half-recognition, half-hope. Her mouth parted in a gasp. Her hand lifted involuntarily, reaching toward me through the crowd, as though she couldn’t help herself.

My cock twitched in my jeans.

Fuck.

I whirled away, cursing myself once more for being a f*cking idiot, and disappeared into the shadows where she could no longer see me, all the while promising myself I’d stay away for good this time. Find a new mark, move on without her.

I was a shit liar.

At least, I was when it came to deceiving myself.





Chapter Nine: FAITH


CHINESE WATER TORTURE



My history lecture was boring me to tears.