Epic Sins (Epic Fail #1)(21)

“Then find him one. Just not here.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, Peggy gasps and practically draws blood from me.

“We’re trying.” Nicole’s tears are back, and her face begins to blur. The room seems to be tilting or spinning or something.

“Garrett? Are you okay?” Peggy releases her death grip on my arm and calls out to the kitchen. “Heath, can you bring some water?”

He tosses a bottle my way, and I open it up right away. I take a sip then gulp the rest down. I feel like I’m on another planet right now or in a dream. Please let this be a dream.

“We’re trying to find Kai a home. As I mentioned before, I had been working with Sadie again recently, helping her form an adoption plan. She realized she couldn’t take care of her son and was supportive of the plan. She even went as far as selecting a family to potentially adopt him. We had begun working with an attorney who specializes in private adoptions. The day that Kai was born, Sadie tested positive for multiple drugs. We had to disclose this to the adoption attorney, who informed us that the family that he had been working with declined to adopt Kai. Sadie was devastated and left the hospital. That was the last time I saw her—alive.”

“Jesus,” Heath and I say at the same time.

“I don’t know what I can do,” I respond honestly. I’m not equipped to bring a baby into this house. I’m not equipped to take care of anyone. I’m not equipped to be a father.

“Just try to work with me, please. My goal is to place Kai with family. You’re his only family now.”

“This isn’t right. You can’t just come in here and try to throw this major guilt trip my way about a sick little boy who needs a father!” I’m angry at how unfair this situation is and I want her out of my house.

“Garrett!” Peggy’s voice booms throughout the den. “Hear her out. There’s a solution here, and we need to do what’s best for this little boy.”

What the f*ck is going on?

“Please listen to me. I’m begging you,” Nicole pleads once again.

“Please, Garrett,” Peggy says calmly.

“Here’s how I can help. I have plenty of money. Let me hire a private investigator and see if we can find some real blood relatives out there. They have to exist.” The possibility of the alternative is terrifying.

“There is nobody else. We’ve tried to find Sadie’s family before. I’ve been trying since she was nine years old. She had no one. She died alone.”

“But there must be a foster home willing to take him, right?” I’m grasping, desperate.

All three sets of eyes in the room turn to me, and I feel them burn through my skull. Judging.

“I’m in a band. Constantly on the road. I can’t commit to this,” I say weakly, suddenly embarrassed.

“Really?” Heath interrupts. “Our tour is over after tomorrow night’s show. Then we have time off before we begin writing our next album. I expect we’ll be here for at least twelve to eighteen months before we’re back on the road again.”

“Exactly! Until we’re back on the road again. Like we are for six to eight months every year. Sleeping on tour buses. Partying like the rock stars that we are. Dude, what are you trying to do?” My fists are clenched, and I’m doing everything I can to not jump up and strangle Heath.

“Why don’t we call your parents?” Peggy quietly interjects. “I know that between me and them, we can help raise this baby in a loving environment and give him the home he deserves.”

Holy shit.

“Leave my parents out of this, Aunt Peggy. They’re in North Carolina and are too far to be involved in this decision.”

“Yes, but they still have a home in town and can be here at a moment’s notice. They’re retired, and I’m sure they would be thrilled to know they have a grandson.”

Is she threatening me? What is she trying to do?

“I don’t know. This is all so crazy. I can’t do this.” The room begins to spin again and this time I think I’m going to throw up.

Nicole fidgets in her seat and looks uncomfortable. She crosses her legs, her eyes sad and pleading.

“Mr. Armstrong, I have to tell you that this is a highly unusual situation, even for me. I shouldn’t even be here, begging you like this. But I feel—I feel responsible for this child’s life more than I can express. If I could take him myself, I would. I have four of my own children at home and a husband who works the night shift. We live in a tiny three-bedroom home and have no room for our own family much less adding another. I wish I could take him. Oh my God, I need to leave. This is wrong…”

Nicole bolts out of the chair and runs toward the front door. My emotions are all over the place and I’m suddenly worried for this baby who everyone keeps telling me is mine. I’m worried that he’ll wind up in some dark alley like Sadie. Alone. Forgotten.

“Wait!” Peggy and I call out in unison. Nicole stops and slowly turns around, and Peggy grabs my hand.

“What were you going to say?” I ask Peggy.

“I was going to tell her that we’ll take him,” she responds quickly. “Isn’t that what you were going to say?”

I swallow heavily and shake my head. “No, Peggy, I plan to offer her money.” The look of disgust on her face chokes me, and I want to hide. Nicole comes back into the room with hope in her eyes, and I’m about to crush her yet again.