Endless Knight(87)

My mission to take down this knight was evolving. What if I could win him over as my ally, as a friend, as—


“Tell me your thoughts, creature.”


“Hmm? I was wondering what boon you’d want from me?”


His gaze fell to my lips, eyes alight. “There is one . . .”


I held my breath.

Yet then he stood abruptly, shutting himself down, that light dimming. “I believe I’ll save it for another time. The hour grows late.”


“Late? So?” This was A.F. Did time really matter? Today the sun had risen for scant minutes, merely hovering on the horizon. “Do you have to be on Ash Campus early tomorrow? At the University of Nothing Matters?”


He crossed to the study door, opening it for me. Booting me out?

I rose, tying my sweater around my waist, wondering what to say. Had a blast, Reap. We’ll do this at my place next time.

I’d just frowned to find Cyclops missing when Death joined me in the hallway. “I’ll escort you back.”


“I do know my way.”


“Indulge me.”


I teased, “Chivalry never died for you, huh?”


“I am a knight,” he replied, making me grin.

On the way up the stairs, I remained at his side. If he was bothered to be pressed together in the narrow stairwell, he didn’t show it. His shirtsleeve brushed my bare arm, and again—


My breath hitched when skin touched skin. Death had furtively shoved up his sleeve? Was that his cuff button pinging on a step?

With each contact, his lids seemed to grow heavier, his eyes gone starry once more.

Now that I was hyper-aware of the loneliness inside Death, I’d begun having this overriding urge to ease it. To be fair, what woman wouldn’t?

Yet at the door to my room, we stood in awkward silence. It was as if he were dropping me off at the porch of Haven after a date.

The spacious landing felt small to me. “Can we have a rematch tomorrow night?”


He leaned his shoulder against the wall. “Perhaps.”


“If I’d won tonight, I was going to ask you to tell me about our past.”


“You wouldn’t have asked me for longer to live?”


I shook my head. “You’re not going to hurt me.”


In the muted light of the landing, his gaze was so brilliant as he said, “Will I not?”


“I know you enjoyed tonight. Why deprive yourself of me?”


With a perplexed expression, he turned toward the stairs. But I thought I heard him murmur, “Why indeed?”


I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic, or asking himself a genuine question.

Once he’d gone, I floated into my room, pleasantly buzzed, marveling at how much fun I’d had. Cyclops was already on the bed. As I changed into a nightgown, Matthew tentatively called for me. —Empress?—


I was in such a good mood, I felt bulletproof. I allowed him in. What is it?

—The Empress is my friend. I miss Evie.—


The pang in my chest shocked me with its intensity. I missed him too. Even after everything. Didn’t mean I could forgive him.

—Don’t be angry.—


You hurt me, Matthew. And I wonder if you even care. Maybe he was scheming right now.

—We need you. We fall to ruin.—


Fall to ruin. J’tombe en botte. Jack had told me that the night at Finn’s place when he’d bared his soul to me.

Or at least, select, edited parts of it.

Jack and Matthew weren’t my responsibility anymore. The two of them equaled pain. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from asking, Did you tell Jack what I learned? That I knew he’d helped my mother kill herself, then lied to me repeatedly?

Now that I was in a somewhat better state of mind, I could see things more clearly, accepting that Jack would never have hurt my mom on his own. His motives might not have been pure, but my fierce mother could be . . . persuasive.

If she’d decided her suicide was the only way to save my life, then Jack had never stood a chance. I could only imagine the toll that night had taken on him, a boy who despised violence against women.

When he’d worked so hard on that dinner for us the last night at Haven, making it as nice as he could, they both must have known it would be her last. Which made me realize that Jack was devious. By his behavior, I never could have guessed what he was on the cusp of doing.

Jack had said he didn’t have secrets. Another lie. And I sensed I’d only scratched the surface of them. At least Death had been up-front about his continual impulses to kill me.

—I told Jack.—


And?

Matthew sighed. —And.—


What does that mean?

—You’re in my eyes.—


A vision began, and I saw a blur of Jack. He was frenzied, tearing at his hair as he yelled—


NO, Matthew! I shook my head hard. No, I don’t want that! I’d only recently gotten my emotions under control. I wasn’t that bulletproof.

It faded. —Empress?—


I don’t want to see him. I can’t. I couldn’t handle any more rabbit holes!

—I feel your heart; it actually aches.— The same words he’d told me on the night Jack had confessed his feelings to me.