End of Story(39)

He said nothing for a while. Not meeting his gaze had been the right choice. Because when I did, there was a softness there that was devastating. “He really shook your confidence, didn’t he?”

I shrugged.

“You really don’t want anything to change?”

“Well. I mean...sex would be nice.”

His brows rose. “Sex?”

“Oh, come on. This cannot be that big of a surprise. We’ve been lusting after each other for weeks. I’d say we’re both due a little relief.”

“Okay.” He scratched at his long stubble. His expression now seemed to be a cross between confusion and consternation. Still handsome as fuck, however. “Let me check I understand what’s happening here. I suggested we date and you counteroffered with no-strings sex.”

“That’s right.”

“Because you don’t believe a relationship between us stands a chance.”

I nodded. “Basically. You think that a relationship between us is inevitable. I think that under the current circumstances a brief and bad relationship between us is inevitable.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Take all the time you need.” I watched him with interest. “You’re not used to getting turned down, are you, Lars?”

“I’m really not,” he agreed.

“Think of it as a growth experience.”

“Right.” His smile was bemused as he rose from the couch. “We were supposed to be doing TV and ice cream.”

“You still want to do that?”

“Absolutely. Friend.”

Patience was not my strong suit, but Lars was worth the agitation. My reasons for not falling headfirst into a romantic relationship with him made sense to me. You didn’t just snap out of sorrow and rejection. And emotionally I still felt shaky. Me and my poor delicate feelings. But the Ex had fed my doubts and insecurities every step of the way. The loss of Aunt Susan also remained brutal at times. How shockingly sudden her death had been. Then there was the whole inevitable thing. Like the man was giving in when he offered to go out with me. Did he really want to date me or had those papers worn him down?

There was no way to be sure.

Friday evening I attended a period-proof-underwear launch downtown for work. It was a huge success and finished at around nine. Lars had invited me for drinks at a bar a few blocks from the Fremont Troll, but I turned him down, thinking the work event was going to go later. However, I was feeling myself since my slick side-part hair had worked out and the bar was sort of on my way home, so why not?

The magnitude of my mistake was soon made clear.

“Susie,” said Aaron, standing tall with a pool cue in his hand. His usual sneer was soon replaced with a careful blank expression. No sign of his fiancée. I found it interesting that I’d been deemed acceptable enough to date for a year. But having the audacity not to disappear once he dismissed me was obviously the ultimate insult in his eyes. Men who put women into neat little boxes were the worst. As if we could only play certain parts and had no destiny of our own. Like if we weren’t an adjunct to them then we weren’t real people.

Mateo and his partner, James, were sitting on stools waiting for their turn at the pool table. They gave me a smile and I raised my hand in greeting. I don’t think they had much time for Aaron either. At least, they seemed to be giving him a wide berth.

How could Lars not see this?

Lars set down his beer when he saw me and there was a whole lot of oh fuck in his eyes. “Hey. This is a surprise. You look beautiful.”

While it was true that my black, wide-leg pants, linen halter top, and ballet flats were on point, this situation sucked. Though seeing Lars did deliver that high. The man wore a pair of jeans like nobody’s business. And the way his T-shirt fit was a singular delight. How the cotton stretched just so over his shoulders and embraced his biceps. Any happy, however, was soon drowned out by awkward.

“The work thing finished early and...” I downed a mouthful of the cider I’d grabbed from the bar then set it on a nearby table. “I’m going to go.”

Lars picked up the drink and held it out to me. “Stay. At least until you finish this.”

“I’m making your boy uncomfortable.”

“He’ll live.” He moved closer so we wouldn’t be overheard. “I only invited him after you said you couldn’t come. But now you’re here and that’s good.”

I groaned.

“We had a talk. He’s not going to give you any shit.”

“A talk?” I asked. “When did this happen and what exactly did you say?”

“After my birthday. I told him that I valued your friendship.”

“My friendship, huh?”

“Yeah.” His smile was amused. “You changed your mind and want me to update the relationship status?”

“Unnecessary. Friend.”

“Just checking. Stay. Finish your drink.”

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll finish the drink.”

Mateo and James got tired of waiting and headed for the pinball machine. Meanwhile, Aaron’s gaze moved between Lars and me with no small amount of suspicion. I gave him my most innocent smile. Of course he scowled. And all the while, Lars stood at my side. I had to admit, it would be interesting to see how things were going to play out. It had occurred to me that Aaron saw niceness toward women as transactional. As he no longer believed I had any value and could give him nothing he wanted, there was no reason for him to bother being polite. Asshole.