Eleanor & Grey(82)

“Do you like it?” Lorelai asked.

“Oh, my gosh, I adore it, Lorelai—more than I can say.” She looked over to me. “How did you…you made this?”

“Yeah. After a lot of YouTube videos and wasted yarn, it came together pretty well. The girls each put in a few of their own loops, too. The dragonflies were all Claire, though. I’m not that talented. So, it’s from all of us.”

“Made with love,” Claire chimed in.

Eleanor covered her mouth and broke into heavy sobs as her emotions took her over. She became completely overwhelmed and Lorelai went over to hug her.

“It’s okay, Ellie. You don’t have to be sad.”

“Oh, no, I’m not sad, sweetheart. I’m just so unbelievably happy. You see, when I was a girl, my mother used to make me cardigans, and one just like this one right here was my favorite of all. When I lost them all, I thought I’d never have one again, so this is beyond amazing.”

“So, those are happy tears?” Lorelai asked.

“The happiest tears,” Eleanor replied. “Thank you so much. Thank you all so much. This is the greatest gift I’ve ever received.”

“Shay told me how you lost your other cardigans. I know we can’t replace those, but I hoped this could bring a smile your way.” I smiled. “Happy birthday, Ellie.”

“Thank you, Grey.” She smiled back, and my heart skipped a beat.

I hadn’t known it could still do that.

I hadn’t known it could skip for another person.

And it felt kind of beautiful.





Later that afternoon, the girls headed to their bedrooms after a bit too much cake. Eleanor headed home to go out for a birthday dinner with Shay, and I was left to clean up from the birthday celebration.

“Eleanor’s great,” Claire said as she walked into the kitchen, where I was loading the dishwasher. “She’s really good for you.”

“Yeah, she’s great with the kids,” I agreed. “Even Karla is opening up to her, and we all know that’s a huge deal. Eleanor has been great for them.”

“Yes, I agree fully, but I was mostly talking about how she’s good for you.”

Her words caught me off guard, and I stood up and looked her way. “What?”

She gave me the gentlest look ever and walked toward me. “I get it, Greyson, I do. I know you’re probably trying to ignore it, trying to push the feelings away, but you don’t have to do that. I know you’re probably scared of what it means, having these feelings coming up, but you shouldn’t be afraid of them. I knew my daughter. I know what she’d want for you. She’d want you to be happy again. That’s all Nicole would ever want for you. She’d want you to find happiness. If Eleanor is that for you, and I think she is, please don’t pass it up.”

I put down the plate in my hand, and leaned back against the countertop. “Is it that obvious?” I asked.

“Only when you look at her. When you look at her, it’s as if the whole world lights up inside you.” Claire moved in closer and placed a hand on my forearm. “And that’s a good thing, Greyson. That’s a beautiful thing.”

My chest tightened and I took a deep breath as I shut my eyes. “It just feels like a betrayal…like I’m betraying Nicole.”

“No,” Claire said quickly, shaking her head. “No, no, no. I figured that was what has been holding you back, and I worried about those thoughts floating around in your mind. You are not betraying anyone, Greyson. You and my daughter, you had a beautiful love story. You two created a love so strong it will live on forever, and that’s an amazing thing, but that doesn’t mean you’re never allowed to love again. Your heart is still beating, son, which means there’s room for more love, and if there’s anyone in this world who deserves to find that love, it’s you.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and inhaled. “It’s scary.”

“Yes, it is, but still worth it.”

“What if there’s nothing there? What if Eleanor doesn’t feel it back?”

“She does.”

“How do you know?”

“Because when she looks at you, it’s as if the whole world lights up inside her. So, trust what you’re feeling, and don’t let doubt creep in. Sometimes in life you just have to leap, Greyson. You have to take the leap and just trust that you can fly.”

She smiled a smile just like Nicole’s, and that made me happy and sad all at once.

I exhaled slowly, feeling my heart racing throughout my body.

She was right.

She was always right.

“Thank you, Claire.”

“Always.”

“I just…” I cleared my throat and shifted around in my shoes. “I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you, but I just want you to know that I’ve always looked to you as my mother. I’ve never really had a motherly figure in my life until you, and from day one, you welcomed me into your life with open arms. You’ve given me guidance when I needed it. You talked me off the ledge when I was ready to jump. When I hit my lowest, you didn’t leave my side. You fought for me when I couldn’t fight for myself. You stayed by me, and I don’t think you know what that means to me. I don’t think you understand how much of an honor it is for me to call you Mom.”