Eleanor & Grey(55)

“Eleanor,” he said, his voice tame.

I cringed a little, almost positive I knew what was coming next. “Let me guess…” I sighed, pulling my purse higher on my shoulder. “You’re firing me. I get it. I made a huge mistake. I just have a few things of mine in the house. Then I’ll pack up my things at the guesthouse and be out of your hair in a few minutes.” I started walking past him and was taken aback as his hand landed on my forearm, stopping me.

My eyes drifted to his touch, and his gaze did the same thing before we looked up at each other. It felt as if a bolt of electricity shot throughout my entire body, leaving nothing but chills.

Oh. What was that?

I wondered if he felt them, too.

He quickly dropped his hold on me and cleared his throat. “Sorry. I just…” He took a step backward and sighed, crossing his arms. “Good morning.” His words threw me for the biggest loop known to mankind.

I raised an eyebrow. “Good…morning?”

Then, he just stared at me, and I stared at him. My eyes darted back and forth for a moment, uncertain what was next for our conversation.

“Is there something I can help you with…?” My voice was low and confused.

“You’re not fired.”

“Oh, but I thought—”

He nodded. “I know, but you’re not.”

“Then what is it? Is there something else you wanted to say?”

“No. Yes. I mean…” He took a deep breath and released it slowly. Everything about Greyson seemed so complex. It was as if his heart was constantly battling his mind, making it impossible for him to really express himself wholly. “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For snapping at you yesterday about Karla. It was unprofessional,” he stated, brushing his hand against the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, that. Well, yes, it was,” I told him matter-of-factly. “But it was also understandable. I would’ve reacted poorly to that news, too. I just hope you know I had no clue about any of it, Greyson. I truly thought I was doing the right thing.”

He nodded, he and didn’t correct me for calling him by his first name. Maybe he was too dazed and confused from last night’s falling out that he didn’t even notice my error.

“Did you find out where she was going each day?” I asked.

He shook his head and turned his back to me, looking out toward the rising sun. “No. She wouldn’t say, but I did find out she forged my signature on some paperwork, saying the family was on vacation for two months. The school even gave her all her homework ahead of time, and she’s been doing it all. I just…”

His voice trailed off, and his shoulders rolled forward.

Oh, Greyson…

His sadness was so loud that morning.

“She’s smart, you know?” he told me. “Thorough—like her mother. She covered all the bases. She must have had this planned before you were even hired to nanny for us, because it had been in the works for some time. I just don’t know why.”

“Did you ask her why?”

“No.” He turned back my way with his arms crossed. “I just snapped.”

He knew that was the wrong thing to do, too. I saw it, the guilt of his reaction.

“You worry about her.”

When he looked up to me, his eyes told me a story his lips didn’t dare speak. Those eyes looked grayer that morning. Sadder, too. The previous night must’ve been hard for him; his stare told that story, the tale of a broken soul.

He shifted around in his running shoes. “I just wanted to apologize for snapping. I took it out on the wrong person, and it was idiotic of me to believe you had anything to do with Karla and her evil plan.”

I smiled, but I was sure he saw the sadness in the curve of my lips. “Thank you for the apology.”

He nodded and lifted the cup on the railing. “I made you coffee. Two sugars, one pump of vanilla, extra cream.”

My heart skipped a little as I stared his way. “You remembered my favorite coffee from when we were younger?”

“No. I just notice you making it every morning in the kitchen.”

Oh. Of course. What an odd thing to even think, Eleanor. Of course he didn’t remember my favorite coffee. The fact that he noticed me each day hadn’t gone unnoted, though. Even more so, him handing me that mug felt a bit like a peace offering.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the mug from his hands.

“No, thank you. I know I can…” He paused and released a weighted breath. “I know I’m hard to be around.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not. I’ve never been the best at this stuff—being a father. I work hard, and long, and whenever I come home, I’m checked out. It was like that before the accident, but at least then, I had Nicole there to balance me, to be the calmness to my storm. Now…without her…” He brushed his thumb against his nose. “It’s just that I don’t know how to do this,” he confessed.

“Do what?”

He lowered his head and when he looked back up, I witnessed the saddest expression I’d ever seen in all my life. His face was pale as if all life had been sucked out of him.

He parted his lips and softly spoke, “Live in a world where she doesn’t exist.” His eyes looked as if his whole world was set on fire. They watered over and he shook his head once, trying to pull his emotions back together. “Sorry.”