Eleanor & Grey(51)

People called him the next Brad Pitt, but I still just called him Landon. The last thing he needed was to think he was a famous god. He was surrounded by enough people who praised him as if they knew him, but he and I had never had that type of relationship. I was proud of him, yeah, but I didn’t treat him like a celebrity. I treated him like my best friend from childhood. He needed some people to keep him grounded.

I didn’t message him back that night. He didn’t expect me to.

“Daddy,” a small voice said, making me look up as my office door opened. Lorelai was standing there rubbing her eyes and yawning as she walked into the office. She was once again wearing her butterfly wings on her back, even though I’d taken them off about two hours earlier when I’d done my rounds to check on the girls.

“What are you doing out of bed?” I asked, standing from my desk.

“I had a bad dream,” she whined, still rubbing her eyes.

I walked over and picked her up in my arms. “Let’s get you back to bed. You have school in the morning.”

“Can I sleep with you and Mommy?” she asked, and her words hit me straight in the chest. I took a few deep breaths and tried to push down the hurting her words caused my soul.

“Not tonight, Lorelai.”

“But Daddy,” she cried.

“Not tonight,” I repeated as I led her to her room.

I laid her down, and she was still crying with tiny tears falling from her closed eyes. “Will you lay with me, Daddy?” she asked, sniffling. I lay down beside her, and she wrapped her arms around me. Lorelai wasn’t one to ever really show sadness except for when she had bad dreams. I wondered if they were anything like my dreams. I wouldn’t have wished my nightmares on my worst enemies.

As I held her, her sadness began to fade as she fell back into a deeper sleep. I, on the other hand, lay there wide awake, staring into the darkness as her words danced across my mind.

Can I sleep with you and Mommy?

Part of me thought she’d said the words because she was half asleep and confused. Another part knew better than that, because I had walked in on her pretending to talk to Nicole. I had watched her hold full blown conversations with a mother who was not here. I had witnessed her setting a spot for her mother at the dinner table on Spaghetti Mondays.

Lorelai knew Nicole had passed away, but she had somehow managed to hold on to her, to keep going on as if her mother was still alive, just invisible.

I worried about that, wondering if it was healthy for her mind.

Then again, I also envied her ability to have that connection with Nicole in some way, her ability to believe in something bigger than what was right there in front of her.

If I could have lived in a world where I believed in angels, I’d have talked to my wife every day, too.

After Lorelai was asleep, I stayed a bit longer, holding her against me.

She needed me that night, but perhaps I needed her, too.





I woke up still in Lorelai’s bed, a bit confused about my whereabouts. I sat up a little as my body whined and groaned from being twisted up in such a tiny bed.

What time is it?

How long have I been asleep?

I had no clue, though, it did seem like the best rest I’d gotten in over ten months, even if my body felt bent out of shape.

I walked to the kitchen to find Eleanor making a cup of coffee from the Keurig.

As she turned around and jumped slightly when she saw me standing there. “Oh, Grey—er—Mr. East. Good morning.”

I narrowed my eyes.

It’s morning?

“What time is it?” I grumbled.

“Seven. I was about to get the girls up to shower,” she explained. “But then I saw you sleeping with Lorelai and figured I’d let you both rest a little longer.”

“Seven?! Shit!” I moaned, running my hands through my messy hair. I couldn’t believe I’d slept in that long. I never slept in. I was late and didn’t have time to get my morning run in. “You should’ve woken me,” I snapped, even though it wasn’t her job to make sure I was up. Still.

Shit!

“Sorry, I just figured you were already dressed for work, and went to lay with her for a little bit.”

“Why would you think I was ready for work?” I barked, irritated at her, but I didn’t even know why I was irritated. Sometimes my emotions ran wild before I could catch them.

“Well, you know…” She gestured toward me, and I looked down at my outfit.

My wrinkled, five-hundred-dollar suit that I wore to bed last night. I wore a five-hundred-dollar suit to bed like I had no cares in the world.

“Oh. Sorry,” I grumbled, because I felt like an idiot. I turned to walk away and she called back to me.

“Mr. East, just really fast,” she said, her voice low and a bit timid.

“What is it?”

“I just wanted to apologize for my email response last night. It was very unprofessional.”

I narrowed my eyes, somewhat taken aback by her apology. I hadn’t expected one at all. “Oh, well, yes. It was unprofessional, but it isn’t a huge deal.”

“It is, though. I honestly didn’t know you were serious about calling you Mr. East until you replied to my next email. Therefore, my response was meant to be comical, but obviously it didn’t come off that way. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have crossed, and I apologize for that. I feel like you’re giving me a huge opportunity with this job, and it means a lot to me. I don’t want to blow it, and I’m sorry if I was rude or snappy. I take this position seriously, and I hope you know that.”