Eleanor & Grey(39)

“She seems wonderful,” Claire commented, because she never got the hint when I wanted to be left alone. Or, perhaps she did, but she worried too much about what I went through when I was left with only my thoughts.

“She mentioned you knew each other? When you were younger?”

My body tensed up, and I fiddled with the cuffs on my suit. “Long time ago.”

“Yes, but it’s always nice to be reintroduced to someone from your past.”

I had no comment about that either. I didn’t know what it meant that Eleanor Gable had been the woman to walk into my library that afternoon. I hadn’t even allowed myself to really think about the concept of her reentering my life. All I knew was that she had the best resume out of everyone I’d seen that day, and I had more important work to get to back at my actual office.

I cleared my throat. “I have to get to work. I’ll probably be late heading home, too. After you pick up the girls, can you call in the babysitter to come over and watch them?”

Claire frowned, and I hated it.

She had her daughter’s frown, too.

I hadn’t known it was possible to miss a person’s frown until hers had been ripped away from me.

“Grey…” Her breathy voice spoke my way.

I turned to my right, and Nicole’s forehead lay on the exploded airbag.

I blinked my eyes shut as Nicole came rushing back to me. It felt more and more like drowning every time it happened.

Grief was strange, how it snuck up on you, how it showed up even when you tried your hardest to avoid it. I’d kept busy because I didn’t want to mourn. I didn’t want to face a world where she no longer lived, but the grief appeared quietly, at random moments, even though I tried my best to drown it out. It came at me sharply with the realization of what had happened. My chest tightened as pain flooded every part of my soul.

“Greyson,” Claire said, her voice soft and filled with concern as she placed a hand on my forearm, shaking me away from my darkness.

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay, son?” she asked, knowing very well that I wasn’t.

But I lied.

I always lied.

“I’m fine. I’ll check in later, and make sure Allison emails Eleanor with all the details about the position. Thank you, Claire, for showing up today.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I’ll always show up,” she promised.

She didn’t lie.

She never lied.

I inhaled deeply and pushed away the emotions trying to slip out from within me.

I wouldn’t allow the tears.

I didn’t want to mourn.

I didn’t want to feel.

I didn’t want to face the fact that she was gone.

So, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I went to work, and I drowned out the wildness of my mind that tried to swallow me whole every second of every day.





24





Eleanor





“You got the job?!” Shay exclaimed that afternoon as I stood in our apartment doorway fiddling with my fingers. “Oh, my gosh, we have to celebrate!”

“Um, yeah. I got the job.” I hadn’t really come to terms with it, actually. For the most part, I had walked around dazed and confused since I’d left Greyson’s house, wondering if what had happened had actually happened or if I was having some kind of psychotic break.

“I’m sorry, are you not happy about this?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Before the interview you were ecstatic at just the idea of it! What changed?”

“Oh, a lot,” I muttered as I walked into our place and shut the front door behind me. We’d been living together for the past two years now, and I couldn’t imagine living with anyone else. Shay was the yin to my yang.

I headed straight for the fridge and pulled out a cake. I could always count on my cousin stocking us up with the best sweets.

She did work at a bakery, after all. Even though it wasn’t her dream job, she loved it there. During the day, she was at the bakery, and at night, she was on her laptop writing screenplays. Shay was beyond gifted with the written word. She could spin words in a way that made one want to laugh out loud and sob all at once. She was just looking for her big break, and she truly deserved it more than anyone. Shay was talented beyond compare. I knew for certain someday she’d make it big in the film industry. One day, her name would be at the end credits of a blockbuster film.

I plopped down on the couch with a slice of cake and two forks. Shay sat down beside me, and eagerly accepted her utensil.

“A lot as in…?” she questioned.

“Well, I found out who my employer is,” I said.

“Oh, my gosh, is it Beyoncé?!” she squeaked. “I was just telling my mom how it has to be someone famous with the amount of money they offered up.”

“It’s not Beyoncé.” I laughed, thinking it was funny how my cousin and I had the same thought process. In many ways, it was almost as if we were twins. Our minds were always on the same page. “But it is someone we know…or, well, knew.”

“Shut up. What?! I’m freaking out now. Who do we know that has that kind of money?”

“Greyson.”

“Greyson who?”

“Greyson, Greyson. Greyson East.”