Egomaniac(83)

I looked down at my feet for a minute, then caught her in my gaze. There was a crushing sensation in my chest as I found the same sadness that loomed inside of me behind her eyes.

My voice was low and hoarse. “Do you love him?”

She stared at me for long seconds, the wheels in her head turning. I held my breath the entire time. Finally, she shook her head.

Thank God.

That was all I needed to hear. Anything and everything else we could work out. I could make her forgive me, she could learn to trust me again, but I couldn’t make her not be in love with another man. She was still standing in her bedroom doorway, and suddenly there was way too much space between us. I stalked over to her, not giving a shit if it was a caveman move. The overwhelming urge to touch her outweighed any need for etiquette.

She didn’t move. With every step I took, my heartbeat grew faster. She still didn’t move when I reached out, cupped her face in my hands, and slowly brushed my lips against hers, testing the waters. Taking that as a green light, or at least not a bright red flashing one, I went back for more. Planting my lips over her mouth, soft went out the window, and I kissed her hard. She opened, moaning as I pulled her flush against me. The sound shot right to my dick, and the hard kiss quickly elevated to a frenzy. She smelled amazing, tasted as sweet as I remembered, and the feel of her body pressed to mine was better than I’d ever experienced.

God, I was such a fucking idiot. How could I have ever walked away from this?

The kiss went on for a long time. When it broke, it didn’t take long for her doubt and fear to creep back in—not to mention anger.

“You can’t just show up—”

My lips crashed down on hers, cutting her off. This time, she tried to fight me. She gave one weak shove to my chest, which only made me wrap my arms around her tighter. Eventually, her fight went limp, and she gave in again. When our kiss broke, I left my lips inches from hers as a reminder that I’d be on her in less than a heartbeat if she started again.

“Just give me a minute before you rip into me, okay?”

“Sixty seconds,” she said.

The corner of my lip twitched. God, I missed that mouth. And not just the feel of her soft lips and submissive tongue—I missed her sass. Brushing two fingers across her cheek, I gave it to her straight. My voice was raw as I laid it all at her feet.

“I love you.”

A hopeful smile rose on her beautiful face. But then she remembered. She remembered what I’d done to her the last few weeks, and her smile fell.

“You have a funny way of showing it. You love me, so you dumped me?”

“The judge didn’t change my visitation schedule with Beck, but he allowed Alexa to stay in Atlanta. I have to move.”

“I know all about it. Roman told me.”

“Roman?”

“Yes, Roman.”

“What the fuck?”

“Don’t you what the fuck me. At least Roman had the courtesy to fill me in on why you were acting like an asshole.”

“I was scared.”

“So was I. But I didn’t walk away.”

I looked down. “I know. I could give you a million excuses about why I did what I did, try to justify myself. But all those reasons lead back to one thing.” I paused and then spoke into her eyes. “I was afraid.”

“And now? Now you’re not afraid anymore?”

I shook my head. “I finally realized I was more afraid of losing you than I was of taking a chance and getting hurt. Guess you can say I grew a pair of balls.”

She softened. It looked like she wanted to believe me, but was skeptical. I couldn’t say I blamed her.

“How do I know they’re not going to shrivel up and disappear again?” Her voice cracked. “You really hurt me, Drew.”

“I’m so sorry. And I know right now my word isn’t worth much to you. But I swear to God, Em, if you give me another chance, I won’t fuck things up this time.”

Her eyes welled up. “You’ll be living in Atlanta, and I’ll be here every day—some days working at the college with Baldwin. How would it even work?”

“However you need it to work. We’ll take turns. One week you’ll come to Atlanta; one week I’ll come to New York. Or every other if that’s too much on you. And we’ll do a fuck of a lot of sexting and FaceTiming. I don’t have it all planned yet, but we’ll figure it out. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. I love you, Emerie. I’d go three hundred and sixty-four days thirsty if it meant I got to drink you in for just one.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and I caught it with my thumb. “Please tell me these are happy tears, Em.”

“I don’t think a long-distance relationship will work.”

“We’ll make it work. Please. Please give me another chance.”

She shook her head rapidly. “No.”

“But—” I attempted to change her mind, but this time she silenced me.

Emerie pressed her lips to mine.

The kiss was filled with so many crazy emotions that I could feel them pulsing through my veins and into our connection. When we finally broke, she was panting, and I was in a fucking panic. She’s saying goodbye.

“It won’t work long distance.”

“Em, we’ll make it work.”