Echo (Bleeding Hearts #1)(35)

Feeling a bit rebellious, I hopped onto the first cable car I saw and just rode it around for a while. I was still getting used to the public transportation system in San Francisco, and most of the time I stayed close to the apartment. But since I needed to take my mind off things, I figured exploring the city was one way to do it.

I was aware I was breaking Ryland’s rules by not texting him for permission. My phone burned in my hand the farther I went, and it was threatening to put a damper on the experience. I didn’t want to text him today. I wanted one day where I could pretend to be normal and enjoy my life without all the rules that hung over me. So I turned off my phone and shoved it into my bag. And before I could really think about the consequences, I tore off the GPS bracelet and tossed it out the window too.

I felt a little guilty for littering, but it was overshadowed by my newfound freedom. I was sure there would be punishment later, but right then, I didn’t care.

The cable car came to a stop after about thirty minutes and the operator announced this was the end of the line. When I glanced out the window I frowned, having no idea where I was. Still I piled off along with everyone else and started walking.

I asked a nice elderly man if there were any shopping places in this part of the city, and he pointed me a couple blocks in the opposite direction. I made the sojourn in my heels, much to my discomfort, and ended up in China Town.

My nose led me to a place that served Dim Sum, which ended up being my dinner. After stopping at the bakery to get Nicole some cupcakes, I had my fortune read by a machine on the street. And for the first time the entire day, I actually cracked a smile.

It warned me that things weren’t always what they seemed.

I laughed and then shivered as the sea breeze blew in and the streets started to thin. It was getting late, and I needed to get back to the apartment.

By the time I found the right bus and made another connection, it was past nine when I arrived at the building.

When I stepped inside, I found Ryland pacing the lobby floor with the phone to his ear. It clattered to the floor and broke into several pieces as he strode towards me without hesitation.

I was expecting anger, but what I saw was something else. His face was white, his eyes filled with anguish as he pulled me against his chest.

The door man stoically ignored our little display and slipped outside while Ryland crushed me in his grip. He was trembling, and I couldn’t understand why.

“Where were you?”

His voice was barely a whisper, and I didn’t have time to answer. Because he repeated the question over and over, his voice growing louder as he shook me in his arms.

I was so confused by his reaction, I found it difficult to speak. Because what I was seeing wasn’t anger, but terror. Pure and undiluted.

“I went shopping,” I croaked.

He pulled out the bracelet I’d tossed out of the cable car and showed me the broken pieces.

“I thought you were dead.” He pulled away and clenched his fists. “And you’re telling me you did this on purpose?”

“Why would you think I was dead?” I tried to reclaim the distance between us, feeling the need to comfort him.

He wouldn’t let me.

“These rules are not for my amusement,” he snapped. “They’re for your safety. I thought I’d made it clear, Brighton. You’ve broken our agreement.”

His eyes were cold and his voice dead flat. Fear bubbled up inside my chest as I rushed towards him.

“It was a mistake,” I cried out. “Please don’t sever the agreement. I just… I needed a day, that’s all. One day. You can punish me every other day for the next five months, I will gladly take it.”

He lifted his gaze and stared past me as if I had ceased to exist at all. I tried to touch him, and he pushed my hand away.

“Please, Ryland.”

He closed his eyes and turned on his heel, walking out the door.

I didn’t follow. That would only make things worse. But for the first time since we’d started playing this game, I saw another side of him. And I regretted what I’d done. Because it was clear that I’d gotten my wish. I had hurt him.



***



It was Friday night, and I’d been waiting all week for Ryland to summon me again. But he hadn’t.

Now here I was, in the office at seven o’ clock, pacing back and forth as I debated my next move. I was working in much closer contact with him now that I was behind the reception desk. I took him his coffee and delivered his paper every morning, but he still hadn’t spoken to me since I’d broken his rule. In a way, his silence was worse than punishment.

I’d tried everything I could think of to get a rise out of him. I’d moved his paperweights around. Intentionally set his cup on the desk instead of the coaster. Left the remaining time on the microwave he always used. All of the little things I knew would bother him. I wanted him to get mad. Because if he was mad, it meant that I could still affect him. That he was still invested.

My heart was heavy, and it wasn’t just for Brayden. I didn’t handle guilt well. All week, I’d been replaying that night in my brain. The fear on Ryland’s face, followed by anger. As cold as he could be, I never imagined that I could possibly hurt him. But I had. I didn’t like to hurt anybody whether they deserved it or not. But hurting Ryland felt worse.

My confidence was floundering. I told myself I needed to stay close to him, for Brayden’s sake. So with more guts than I actually had, I walked into his office and caught him by surprise.