Echo(40)

The private charter is set to leave at 3:00am; everyone has been paid off and given the run-down. They know I own their tongues. My new identity is packed in my briefcase, bags are ready to go, and the car should be here shortly.

With a stomach filled with boulders of anxiety, I walk through the dark house to my bedroom where my unknowing wife sleeps. Eeriness looms as I walk into the room. She lies there, peaceful, completely unaware of the world she walks around in daily. Unaware about who I really am. What I really do. But if I’m going to do this, I need my family. There’s no other option because they mean everything to me. So with that, I risk it all—because they’re worth it—when I sit on the edge of the bed and gently nudge her awake.

She stirs, and when she begins to open her eyes, I take her face in my hands and kiss her. There’s no preparing for this life, the one I’ve chosen to live for nearly thirty years. But never in those thirty years have I been under surveillance like I am now.

“What’s wrong, honey?” she questions, pulling away from this uncharacteristic affection.

Remaining as calm, clear, and concise as possible so that she doesn’t freak out on me, I say, “I need you to sit up and listen to me very carefully.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“Don’t be scared. Everything is going to be okay, but I need you to listen closely because I don’t have much time.”

She sits up and gives me a nod with fear-glazed eyes.

I take her hands in mine. “I’m leaving the country,” I start when she interrupts me.

“What?”

When I place my fingers over her mouth, I stress, “I need you to not ask questions because I won’t be able to answer them. I’m begging you to trust me and know that I will do everything to keep our family together. I love you, but there’s a part of this business that isn’t legal. I’ve done some things, and now I run the risk of losing my life.” My words are partial truths, but mostly lies because there’s no point in laying it all out there. It would only put her in danger.

Her eyes widen and her face creases in confusion as she slowly shakes her head.

“This is what I need from you.”

“I don’t . . . I-I . . . ”

“Take a deep breath, hun,” I gently instruct. “You trust me?”

Her nod comes instantly, soothing some of my worry.

“Good. I need you to trust me. Never doubt me or my love, understand?”

“Of course.”

“If anyone asks about me, you tell them you don’t know where I am. You haven’t heard from me or seen me since we got into an argument over my commitment to this marriage. That if you had to guess, I’m simply hiding out in a hotel to avoid coming home.”

“Why would I—”

“Trust,” I say, cutting her off. “No questions because the more you know, the harder it is for me to protect you.”

“Protection from what? F-From who?”

Cupping her cheeks, I affirm, “No one will ever separate us, hurt us, destroy us. I need you to just stay put and lay low. Don’t talk to anyone unless you have to. But whatever you say, you do not know where I am.”

“W-When will you be back?”

Leaning in to rest my forehead against hers, I whisper, “I don’t know.”

She then begins to quietly weep with her hands on my cheeks.

“You love me, right?”

“Yes,” she responds.

“I need you to know that when I come back, we won’t be staying. We’ll have to leave the country. It’s not something that’s negotiable.”

“What about our life? Our family and friends?”

“There won’t be a life if we stay.”

Her body trembles while she clings to me, muffling her cries against my shoulder.

“I don’t have much time,” I tell her softly, trying not to upset her more.

“What does that mean?”

“I’m leaving now—tonight.”

She pulls away, and with broken, tear-filled eyes, she tells me, “You have to give me something. Some assurance that you’re going to be okay, that you’re going to come back.”

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for our family. I will always protect what’s mine. I will be back.”

And with that, she kisses me with urgency, pulling herself on top of my lap. She tastes like salt as she cries through her loving affection, gripping tightly on to me.