Drop Dead Sexy(45)

With his back to the crowd, Ezra suddenly skidded to a stop. When he spun around, his face had contorted in agony. He stared at the congregation for a moment before his gaze dropped to his hand.

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed. The sight of one of the rattlesnakes fangs buried in Ezra’s right hand had made me forget my resolve about not cursing in church.

A scream erupted from Ezra’s lips as he flung the unattached snake in his left hand to the ground while he tried slinging off the attached one. The musicians cut the song abruptly short as they glanced around at each other.

“I don’t understand. He’s been bitten before,” the man beside me said.

“He has?” I questioned.

The man nodded. “But he’s never acted like that.”

When Ezra staggered back, he tripped over the box of snakes, sending it toppling over. The altar became filled with slithering rattlers. Screams broke out then as people started turning over chairs to try to get away.

“Fuck this,” Catcher said as he reached in his suit pocket. I widened my eyes when he produced not one but two pistols. He then started pushing and shoving his way through the crowd to get to the altar. Since I didn’t want to lose him, I grabbed hold of the back of his suit and followed along.

When we reached the altar, Catcher began firing at the snakes in rapid succession. This caused even more pandemonium to ensue. As Catcher went Dirty Harry on the serpents, I ran over to Ezra who was still held prisoner by the rattler on his wrist. My gaze spun around for a weapon. I grabbed the microphone stand and then began beating the snake off of Ezra.

Thankfully, it released its fangs, and using the stand, I flung it over to where Catcher was doing his High Noon shoot-out.

I turned back around to see Ezra collapse onto the stage. I jabbed a finger at Zeke. “Call 911. Now.”

Zeke jerked his cell out of his pocket and dialed while I knelt down beside Ezra. “First off, you need to keep still. The less you move, the less the venom can spread.”

He bobbed his head in acceptance of what I had said. “Ambulance is on its way,” Zeke said as Catcher came over to us.

I looked up at him and Catcher. “I need a sling to tie around his arm to keep the wounds immobile so the venom can’t spread as easily.”

“Handkerchief?” Zeke suggested as he started to reach for his back pocket.

“Too small.”

The next thing I knew Catcher jerked off his suit jacket and tie before ripping off his shirt. Seeing his sculpted bare chest rendered me immobile like being shot with a tranquilizer gun. At the sound of my name, I shook out of my stupor. “What?”

“I said use my shirt.”

“Oh, sorry. I zoned out for a moment.”

“That seems to happen to you whenever you see me without a shirt,” Catcher replied with a grin.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I was mentally going over a checklist of what to do next.”

“Sure you were.”

“Whatever. Make yourself useful by folding that into a triangle for the sling.”

While Catcher went to work, I took Ezra’s arm and folded it across his chest. Once the shirt was ready, I slid it under Ezra’s back and arm. I brought the ends together at his collarbone and then tied them. “Okay, that’s all we can do for now. You’ll have to get to the ER to be administered the antivenin.”

“Okay. Thank you,” Ezra said weakly.

“Should I pee on him?” Zeke suddenly asked.

Catcher stared open-mouthed at Zeke. “Have you f*cking lost your mind?”

Zeke swept his hands to his hips. “Old-timers used to say pissing on snake bites helped to dilute the venom.”

I shook my head. “Neutralization of venom by urination is just a myth.”

“Thank God. The last thing I need to see is his dick,” Catcher muttered.

Zeke opened his mouth to say something to Catcher, but he was interrupted by an ambulance’s wail. It came tearing through the clearing, kicking up dirt and clumps of grass. It screeched to a halt to the right side of the tent. Catcher ran over to escort them over in the continuing chaos of the crowd.

Of course at the sight of the paramedics and their stretcher, the crowd parted like it was Moses with the Red Sea. I scrambled to my feet and got out of their way so they could start working on Ezra.

As they started an IV line, one of the paramedics glanced up at us. “We’re just going to stabilize him here. We need to get him to the hospital as quick as possible so they can administer the antivenin. Who is the next of kin or power of attorney?”

Zeke raised his hand. “I’m his brother.”

The paramedic nodded. “You can ride along with us if you’d like.”

“I would. Thank you.”

As the stretcher carrying Ezra was shuffled back to the ambulance, Catcher placed a hand on Zeke’s shoulder. “I’ve got more than a few questions for you.”

Zeke narrowed his eyes at Catcher. “And just who are you?”

After fishing his badge out, Catcher flashed it at Zeke. “GBI.”

Zeke winced. “Follow me to the hospital, and I promise I’ll answer whatever you want to know.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I would’ve hated to have you arrested for obstruction of justice.”

After giving us a sheepish grin, Zeke said. “Yeah, considering I’m on probation, that would have really sucked.”