Driven(book one)(19)

“Why not take advantage of it?” Colton finishes for him, a smug smile gracing his face.

I’m starting to feel light-headed, my head spinning from the turn of events. From the only conclusion I can draw, a situation that Colton has designed and mandated just to get his way. I place my hand on the table to brace myself as I slowly sink into the chair, my eyes focusing on an imaginary spot on the papers in front of me.

“Ry? You okay?” Teddy asks concerned.

“Huh?” I raise my head up to meet his empathetic eyes.

“You look a little flushed. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Yes.” I answer taking a deep breath. “I’m just—it was a long shift. That’s all,” I conclude, gathering myself. It’s a means to an end, I remind myself. “Sorry,” I apologize to both men. “I’m just overwhelmed that the new project is going to be a reality.” Colton sits silently, analyzing me. I shift uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

“Look, Rylee,” Teddy addresses me, “I know you have a lot on your plate right now and this is just adding to it, but it’s so close now we can taste it. There is no one I’d rather have be the face of this organization right now. You’re the one, kiddo.”

His high praise warms me despite the panic I feel at being trapped. Being forced into a situation that I know will be beneficial for Corporate Cares but no doubt devastating for me.

Teddy glances at his watch and reaches over to pat my hand, “I have a conference call in five minutes.” He rises from his seat as does Colton. “I trust that I can leave you two in here to fine tune the remaining details.”

He reaches his hand out to Colton sealing the agreement with a handshake. “Thank you, Colton, for your unexpected generosity. You have no idea how many lives you are helping to change with this gift.”

An unexplained darkness flickers across Colton’s face. “I understand more than most people might think,” he expresses without explaining further before releasing Teddy’s hand. “Thank you for your warm reception to the idea. My lawyer will be contacting you in the morning to draw up the paperwork.”

With that Teddy nods his head and exits the conference room. I stand watching the empty doorway, my back toward Colton as I contemplate my next move.

I’m overwhelmed by his generosity. At his attempt to make my dreams come true, so why can I not feel gratitude toward him? Why do I just want to turn around and throttle him? I mull it over quickly, knowing that I hate having my hand forced in anything. It’s not that I have to be in control—well, maybe just a little bit. But at least I want to be the one making the choices where I’m concerned. Not treated like some compliant woman who submits without question to decisions she is forced to follow.

Why does he irritate me so much? Is it because every time I look at his lips or watch his fingers rub over his jaw, my body tightens in anticipation of how they felt on me? Or is it because I can hear his rasp of a voice in my dreams telling me how much he wants me? Shit! My life was perfectly fine until last weekend. And then I meet him, and now I’m a flustered mess.

I shouldn’t care that he was making out and doing God knows what with Bailey, but I do. I’m embarrassed that he probably thinks I let any guy I meet put his hands on me. I’m irritated that I know the only reason for his pursuit is because I’m not falling for his smooth lines and eloquent bullshit. I’m confused why a man who is like a Pied Piper to women much prettier, sexier, everything than me, is even glancing twice in my direction.

My life is not some Hollywood romance movie where boring girl meets famous boy and they fall madly in love together. I’m not naïve enough to believe that this is going to happen to me.

And then to further confuse things is my feelings for Max. My commitment to him and my culpability. The feeling of guilt as to why, despite my expressed love for him, I never felt as alive in all my times with him as I did in the few moments I’ve had with Colton. How can I feel so vibrant with someone I barely know when I didn’t with the man I loved?

I sigh loudly, my body attuned to the proximity of his.

He chuckles, fueling my irritation as I turn to face him. He is leaning back in his chair, an ankle resting on the opposing knee, his arms causally resting on the armrests. We stare at each other, observing and scrutinizing each other for the first time without bystanders. His eyes lazily wander the length of my body, hesitating at my cleavage. I watch his smile widen in what I can assume is an appreciation of the feminine form in general, not just mine, before they travel down the rest of my curves.

His beauty really is magnificent, although I’m sure he would disagree with my term. Thick, dark lashes that are a stark contrast to their translucent color frame his green eyes. His strong nose has a slight curve to its line, where at some point it has been broken or damaged. The imperfection in an otherwise perfect face adds to his overwhelming sex appeal. I take in his full lips, the top one slightly thinner than the lower, the darkened stubble that shadows his face, and the pulse that beats steadily under the curve of his jaw. I have the sudden urge to kiss him right there and nuzzle into him, to feel the pulse of this vibrant man beneath my lips. To be enveloped in his clean, earthy scent.

I shake my head, trying to bring some sense to myself. He quirks his eyebrows and waits for me to make the first move. We stare for several moments as we measure each other. I finally break the silence. “Is this what you call taking matters in to your own hands?”