Downfall(30)

Fortunately, the party compensated me well for the extra time spent waiting for them to leave. The tip they left meant I could get Noble her cake and cookies for weeks, and I wouldn’t have to worry about running out of gas any time soon. It was such a relief to finally feel like I was starting to get my head above water. I was finally starting to make things work out, even if it was in an impossible place, and for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel like a failure. I didn’t feel like I was letting my daughter down.

I practically ran up the stairs and down the hallway to Solo’s apartment. I was going to pound on the door and free him from his babysitting responsibility when I realized it was far later than expected and well after dinner time. There was a good chance Noble had fallen asleep, regardless of how entertaining her company was. Not wanting to wake her if she was down for the night, I tapped lightly on the door and tried in vain to fix my disheveled appearance.

I wrinkled my nose at a mysterious white smear on my black pants and groaned when I saw some kind of sauce stain decorating the front of my shirt. Before I could swipe at either, the door swung open and was filled with a shirtless Solo. I blinked at the expanse of toned, tattooed skin in front of me and had to force myself to remember to breathe. He had his baseball hat on, a low-slung pair of black athletic shorts… and not much else. The sight of him made my mouth go dry and had me forgetting the reason I was at his door in the first place.

“You smell like French fries.” There was humor laced through his deep voice, but the reminder I was an actual mess slammed the brakes on the surge of lust rising from my belly.

I blinked and shrugged a shoulder in an effort to appear nonchalant. “Hazard of the job. I didn’t want to wake Noble up if she was sleeping. It’s pretty close to her bedtime. I’m so sorry I’m so late. It was chaos.” Seriously. It was starting to get to the point where I couldn’t remember what it was like not to have anyone in my corner to rely on. I was starting to forget that hollow, empty feeling of always being alone.

“We had fun. Noble is a riot and she’s easy to entertain. We had chicken nuggets for dinner and she watched cartoons while I hammered out a couple of assignments on the computer. She passed out about an hour ago, so I moved her from the couch to my bed. I think I wore her out. I took her to the park so she could swing, and then we went to my old high school so I could race her around the track. I let her win, but don’t tell her that. The school has a program for kids who don’t have a great place to go after class, so I took Noble to one of the art rooms and let her play around with finger paints for a while. We made a mess, but she had a good time.” He chuckled and crossed his arms over his bare chest, making his tattooed skin flex and firm in an enticing way. I couldn’t pull my gaze away if I wanted to. Not that I did. He was beautiful. He was his own kind of art. “A couple of my old teachers congratulated me on becoming a father. I think I broke their hearts when I told them she wasn’t mine.”

A pang struck the center of my chest at the thought of Noble being his. If she were his, that would mean I was his as well. No matter how different we were, I couldn’t deny something inside of me adored the idea of being claimed by someone as good, as protective, as strong, and as sure as Solo.

“Well, let me grab her and we’ll both get out of your hair for the rest of the night. I’m sure you’re busy.” He always was. “How about another dinner to repay you?” And maybe another kiss? But I would never be confident enough to throw such an offer out there.

One of his dark eyebrows shot upward and his unreadable gaze skated over my thoroughly disheveled form. “How about you go take a shower and relax for five minutes. You can come collect your kid when you don’t smell like a fast food restaurant. And I’m not interested in repayment. What I want from you is honesty. If you want to give me something, come back with the truth. I want to know how you managed to pay for a full year’s worth of rent when you could barely afford your phone bill a few weeks ago.”

My first instinct was to shove past him, grab my kid, and shut the door on what he was asking of me. The truth was the one thing I didn’t think I could give to anyone. Not if I wanted to stay alive and keep my kid out of the hands of monsters. But the weight of everything I was holding onto had started to take its toll, and I was exhausted from carrying it all alone. Maybe if I handed some of it off to someone strong enough to shoulder it, I would stop feeling like I was being crushed.

Slowly, I nodded in agreement. “Fine. Let me go shower and I’ll be back over in a few minutes.”

Solo grinned in satisfaction at his win. “Did you eat at work? If not, I can probably find something and have it ready for you by the time you come back.”

Dear Lord, could he get any better? When was the last time I’d had anyone not only offer me five minutes to myself, but also care for me in the most basic of ways? Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, I croaked out, “I ate between shifts. I’m good. I’ll be right back.” I bolted for my own apartment before I threw myself at him and begged him to keep me and never let me go.

I thoroughly enjoyed my shower. Well, as much as I could in the cramped space with terrible water pressure. Usually I was so preoccupied worrying about Noble, I rushed through the few minutes a day I was alone with my thoughts. Not tonight. Tonight, she was safe and sound under the watchful of eye of someone who would burn the world to ash if anyone or anything tried to harm her. If I was certain of one thing about Solo, it was that.