Down to My Soul (Soul Series Book 2)(87)

“Not the point, Pep. I went into counseling with my parents, whom I haven’t spent more than twenty-four hours with in over a decade, for you. So that you would know I’m serious about figuring out my shit. So that you’d know I’m serious about us having a healthy relationship, and you do this? Behind my back you hide this?”

I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth a few times, truly struggling to bring my temper under control.

“I lied first. I know that. I deserved your anger, your silence.” I take a moment before looking at her. “But when you said you forgave me, I never planned to lie to you again. We hit reset, and it meant the world to me. So finding out you lied—well, that spits on everything.”

“Rhys, let me explain—”

“So this piece of shit contacted you three months ago.” I can’t deal with her right now. I need to focus on him. “What’s happened since?”

“Well, you and I haven’t been public, of course, so he hadn’t bothered me at all.” She closes her eyes, folding her lips in before continuing. “But then that Spotted piece came out the other day speculating about us, and he contacted me again. Texted me threatening to release the tape if I didn’t stay away from you.”

A threatening text?

“That unknown number in the shed?” I demand. “Was that him?”

She nods mutely, eyes afraid of the anger I know is building in my expression. It has to be because I can’t hold it in any longer.

“You told me that was San.” My voice has climbed to a yell. “You lied to my face. God, Pep, was any of that true that night? Has any of it been true? If you could—”

“How can you even ask me that?” Her voice shakes, then breaks over the words. “You know I meant every word about our future together.”

“Yeah, and how did you plan to spend your future with me indefinitely pretending we aren’t together?”

“I just needed some time to track down Drex so we could talk to him, rationalize with him, and now San has a lead so we—”

“San?” I interrupt. “He knew about this? Of course he did. Of course you’d tell him and not me. Trust him and not me.”

“It wasn’t a matter of trust.”

She’s too close. I can’t stand for her to be this close when I’m this angry, like a flame that might scorch her if she’s not careful.

“Get off me.” Rage mottles the words so I repeat them when she doesn’t budge from my lap. “Get the f*ck off, Pep.”

“No,” she whispers into my neck, her fingers circling my wrist like she’s prepared to hold on.

“Fine, if you won’t move,” I say, grabbing her hips and lifting her up and off me, dropping her on the bed, “I’ll move you.”

As soon as I’m clear of her, I reach for the phone in my pocket and start dialing.

“Who are you calling?” I hate the fear in her voice. The thing I hate most is that she’s been living with fear for three months and didn’t share it with me. Didn’t let me protect her. Lied to me instead of trusting me.

“Dammit, Pep,” I say through gritted teeth while Bristol’s phone rings.

“That’s me on that tape, Rhyson, not you.” She stands on her knees in the middle of the bed. “I have a right to know who you’re calling.”

“No one says your name without thinking mine, Kai. So it may be you on that tape, but it affects me whether you like it or not, and if we—”

“What tape?” Bristol asks, voice gruff with sleep, from the other end. “This better be good, brother. What the hell?”

“Bris, how soon can you get to the house?” My eyes don’t leave Kai’s devastated face, shame burning a red spot in each of her cheeks.

It’s quiet on the other end, and I can almost hear the cogs of Bristol’s wheels turning as she brushes the sleep off.

“Twenty minutes.”

“Make it fifteen. Gep, too. I’ll explain when you get here.”

I hang up, striding for the door to wait for them downstairs. I can’t even look at Kai right now. I’m so furious with her. So . . . hurt by her. Is this how she felt when I pulled that stunt with Total Package? Betrayed? Split open? A raw wound salted with lies?

“I was just trying to handle things myself.” She trails me down the stairs. “Can’t you see I never wanted you to find out? To see me like that with him? God, even now just the thought of you seeing it makes me sick to my stomach.”

“I get that, Pep, but you lied.” I keep going, not turning to look at her. “For weeks you’ve lied.”

“I wanted to find Drex to get to the bottom of it.”

“And have you found him?”

“We’re about to. One of San’s contacts spotted him in Topanga a few days ago. We lost him, but we’re close.”

“Three months and that’s all you have to show for it?” I turn to face her in the foyer. “Did it ever occur to you and your Scooby crew that Gep is a former CIA operative? That he might just have some connections that go beyond some trash rag television show’s research department?”

She shakes her head, tears standing in her eyes.

“I didn’t want you to see, Rhys. Didn’t want you to ever know. You said you could never know details.”