Don't Let Go(39)

“Did you have the fried chicken?” I asked, for lack of anything more rousing to say. “It’s really good.”
“I did have a piece,” she said. “With the grilled veggies—really good.”
One piece. Great, she ate like a sparrow, too.
She looked sideways at Johnny Mack. “I saw him banging with his cane,” she said softly. “That’s your store on the other side, right?”
I blew out a breath. “Yes, and he’s driving me up a damn tree with that.”
“Why does he do that?”
I shook my head. “He says he hears music,” I said. “We hardly ever play any music. My mom used to, years ago, but I don’t play anything. Linny doesn’t even hear it,” I said, raising my voice to reach him. “He’s off his damn rocker.”
I saw his mouth tighten, although he didn’t look up, meaning he’d seen me from the get-go and chose to ignore. The muscles in my shoulders tightened into tiny balls as the old hatred spurned by hurt burned deeper into my chest. I took a deep breath and turned away, facing Shayna full-on. I wouldn’t let him goad me, not even with his haughty silence, not in front of her.
“So how is everything going?” I asked, with not a clue in hell where I was going with it. She could take that fifty different directions, and I just hoped she’d pick one.
“Good,” she said, fiddling with her coffee cup, giving me nothing. Great. “Your ex make it home okay last night?” she asked, her nose crinkling on a cute smile.
I groaned. “That’s a memory I’d like to erase. For everyone.”
Shayna laughed and pushed her cup away. “Don’t sweat it. We all have crazy exes.”
“And that’s the sad part,” I said. “He’s not. He’s always been the stable one, emotionally. I’ve never seen him be so idiotic before.”
She licked her lips, looking at the counter before meeting my eyes again. “I think maybe it was seeing Noah.”
And there it was, the giant elephant.
“Probably,” I said quietly.
“More decaf, hon?” Linny asked as she moved down the counter with a pot in each hand.
“No, thank you,” Shayna said, holding up a hand.
Linny questioned me with her eyes and I shook my head that I didn’t need anything so she could keep going. I couldn’t have any of these conversations around her, I never had in all these years. Not once did I ever talk to her about her brother, or giving up the baby, even though she always remained nice and chatty with me and even sent a beautiful card when Becca was born. It was like an unspoken agreement between us. We’d talk about Johnny Mack being a dick, and we both knew why, but we didn’t go there. And it was like Noah never existed.
With him back now, I knew she was keeping a bit of a distance to avoid conversation that might go past Hello and Here are the specials, and that was okay. I didn’t know what to say, either.
“When he first came to the table, I thought it was an old friend of Noah’s,” Shayna said, bringing me back. “But when Noah went into his—glazed-over mode,” she said with a gesture at her eyes, “I realized it was the guy you’d been dancing with earlier.”
My stomach churned with the uncomfortable air that settled around us. “What did Hayden say?” I asked.
“Oh, he introduced himself, we did too, it was all fine until he made some comment about me keeping Noah on a tight leash.”
“Oh, my God,” I said into a hand I’d raised to hide behind.
“Yeah, it pretty much went downhill from there.”
I dropped my hand. “Shayna, I am so sorry.”
She chuckled silently. “It’s okay, Jules. I’m a big girl.”
“I know, but—” I stopped and breathed in deep and let it out. “I know you have probably been swamped with Noah’s past since you crossed into Copper Falls, and it keeps landing on you at every turn.”
She laughed out loud, transforming her face into stunning again. “Very true.”
“You handle it so damn well,” I said. “I want to grow up and be you one day.”
She giggled again and touched my hand. “Never fear, I’m not as secure as I look.”
“Well, then you fake it like a pro.”
She tilted her head, her face morphing into a mask of professionalism. “My daddy taught me to smile through pain, never to give your hand away, and shake hands like a man.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Wow.”
Her face relaxed back into reality. “Yeah, my dad didn’t have any boys.”
I laughed out loud, realizing I felt truly relaxed for the first time in a week. Damn it, this girl could actually be my friend. If she weren’t—something else. The thought sent my gaze to her left hand, and my mind flew back in time to a piece of string that turned into a tiny gold band with a sparkly chip on top. Shayna sported a white-gold ring with a large square-cut diamond and smaller ones headed down the sides. It was gorgeous. And expensive. I wondered if he’d tied a piece of string around her finger first.
“So speaking of boys,” I began, feeling braver in our conversation. “Do you know what you’re having?”
The light in her eyes faded instantly, although the smile remained tacked in place. One hand rested against her belly protectively. I remembered that feeling.
“Not yet,” she said. “Not sure if I’m going to. I’m kind of old school like that. I want the surprise.”
“I did too,” I said, thinking only of Becca. I didn’t even let myself go anywhere else. “I know what you mean.”