Don't Let Go(35)

I raised an eyebrow, remembering the flash reaction. “I’ve never seen Noah get so—” I stopped. “But then I’ve never seen him be an adult before, so what do I know?” I said, attempting a chuckle that fell short.
“He has a hot fuse,” she said. “I’m sure the military created some of that, but he also has a lot of baggage.” She looked down and palmed her still-flat belly and then looked back up at me with those same distracted, distant eyes. “And he wears that baggage twenty-four-seven, so I’m used to it pissing him off on occasion.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but something in me wanted to put her at ease. She looked troubled. And was likable, damn it.
“Well, I’m sorry that Hayden ruined your evening.” And me. And Noah’s baggage. I glanced around at the crowd that was left, wondering if any of them were regulars at the diner. God, Johnny Mack would have a field day with gossip like this. “Hopefully Noah’s dad won’t get wind of it and this can all die down.”
She chuckled at that. “He’s quite the character.”
There was a definition.
“Quite.”
“You know, even Noah thinks he’s acting weird,” she said. “I told him that he’s just been gone too long to know.”
“Exactly,” I said, moving as I spoke. I spotted Noah coming from the restroom and didn’t want questions. Or advice. Or resolutions. Or pity. I didn’t want any more conversation with him, period. “He’s just odd. That’s all there is to it.”
She laughed, and that time it was real, transforming her face into rainbows and sunshine. I said my good-bye and made my way to the door around the long way so that I wouldn’t pass him. I caught his look across the room anyway. I couldn’t read it, but it lit my skin up.
But he wasn’t walking to me. He was walking to Shayna. I had to admit, I could see the attraction. She was genuine, and sweet, and beautiful. And impossible to despise.
I, on the other hand, was walking to the car to bring home my drunk and slightly obnoxious ex-husband. I was one lucky lady.
He was leaned up against Ruthie’s car when I got outside, with his arms crossed and his lips in a tight line.
“He wouldn’t get in,” Ruthie said, throwing her arms up. “I give up, he’s too big for me to shove in, and these heels aren’t spiky enough to poke holes,” she said with a smirk and a head tilt.
“Get in,” I said, leaving no room for argument. “You’re going home. I’m going home. This night has officially kicked my ass.”
“I didn’t mean to push you, Jules,” he said, his voice belying his stony expression.
I met his eyes, and they looked worried. “I know,” I said. “But if you’d just kept your mouth shut it would have never come to that.”
“I had to meet him.”
I sighed and closed my eyes, disgusted. “And a handshake and a hello wouldn’t do it for you?” I rubbed at my face and opened the front passenger door since he was leaning against the back one. “Get. In.”
He gave me one last imploring look, and got in, all his puffed up-ness deflating in defeat.
I got in the back, and Hayden was snoring before we even made it to the highway.

? ? ?

My eyes felt gritty and heavy, the result of staring at my bedroom ceiling instead of sleeping. It had crisscrossed beams that made a cool pattern, but not that cool. My brain just wouldn’t shut down.
Becca had made her curfew, which normally would have me feeling all kinds of happy toward her, but I wasn’t finding the happy. Not with her, not with her dad, not with Noah. Not even with myself when I thought about how unfair I’d been to Patrick.
He wasn’t an emotional attachment, no, I didn’t allow myself those. But I did like him. He was funny and witty and fun to be with. He was a good guy, and I’d been a real bitch. I wasn’t proud.
Becca, however, kept coming back to the forefront. Most of the night I’d spent working out the scenario. Working on my initial approach. It wasn’t going to go well, I knew that instinctively, and once she was pissed she would tune out everything else. Therefore, anything I needed her to soak up had to be up front.
Becca, I love you. There’s more to protection than birth control. Condoms protect your life.
Yeah, no.
Do you love this boy? Because having sex will affect all of you, not just your body.
Becca was a savvy girl, and unfortunately had inherited my ability to spot bullshit from a mile off. While all of my points were valid, none of them completely covered my real agenda in the two actual sentences she might hear. Which was basically Having sex before you’re ready and with someone you don’t actually love or even know all that well just to get it over with is a bad idea, and, oh, yeah, you can catch a life-threatening disease or end up pregnant with life-altering decisions at the age of seventeen.
Deep breath.
If only I could do that. Write it in a card, or better yet, text it to her. That would increase the likelihood of it being read.
I swung my legs down and rubbed my tired eyes, thinking orange juice sounded good and knowing we didn’t have any. I wondered if I should send her to the store before she got angry with me or just do without. She wouldn’t be up yet anyway, since it was only eight o’clock on a Saturday.
I trudged downstairs to make coffee and was surprised to see her curled up on one of the couches, pillows piled around her, reading a book.
“You’re up early,” I said.
She looked up with a yawn. “Had a scary dream so I thought I’d come down here and read.”