Dirty Little Secrets (Dirty Little #1)(16)
“I don’t know what’s going on here, I’ll be honest with you. But I do know that I want to see you again. This isn’t the end of things.”
“Okay.” I smile.
“Yeah?” he asks, smiling too.
“Yeah.”
Our hands are still entwined, so he brings mine up to his lips and kisses my knuckles. I feel the blush creeping up my cheeks, because he manages to make this feel intimate and romantic, even though we’re in the middle of a diner.
When he reaches for another fry, I say, “I might have to take that back if you don’t leave any for me.”
Just to be cocky, he takes another one. “You wouldn’t dare.”
* * * * *
In what is the first extended awkward moment since we met, Caleb and I stand outside of the diner, facing each other. I know I’m definitely trying to figure out what to say to him, and it seems like he’s busy figuring out how to broach the subject of what to do next. I want to go back to his apartment with him, no doubt about it. But what I need to do is go and check into the hotel I was going to check into last night. I want to run another search on Privya, and I don’t think I could manage that at Caleb’s without him asking me questions.
“Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?” “I think I should go back to my hotel.”
We both speak at the same time, and we both look at each other with wide eyes once we’re through, and oh, his face. I reach up and quickly cup his cheek. After the conversation we had over brunch about this being just the beginning of things between us, I don’t want him thinking that we’re not on the same page.
“I do want to go back to your apartment,” I tell him quickly. “It’s just that…”
I need a moment to consider how I want to go about saying what I need to say next.
“Just that what?” Caleb asks impatiently.
I swallow. I shouldn’t say it, but I’m going to.
“I’m worried that the more time I spend with you, the more difficult it will be for me to leave.”
His eyebrows scrunch together. “Where are you going?”
I didn’t mean to come off like I’m leaving forever, but I guess honesty sneaks out in the places you least expect it to. “Nowhere, just…I meant leave you, leave your apartment. I’ll want to stay all the time, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing. We just met.”
“I know,” he says, laughing. “But it seems like it’s been longer than two days.”
“It does,” I reply. This is the kind of thing that happens in movies, isn’t it? Arriving in a new place and getting swept off their feet. Now I understand the stories I’ve heard about two people meeting each other in a romantic city, and coming home married after only knowing each other for a couple of weeks. Not that things are going to go that way with Caleb and me.
He kisses me, and wraps his arm around my waist.
“At least let me drive you and your bag back to your hotel,” he says with a cute little smile.
“Okay.”
* * * * *
The same driver who brought us to Caleb’s apartment from the bar is driving us back to my hotel. Caleb and I are quiet for most of the ride. I’m nervous, because I lied to Caleb about which hotel I’m staying in. I’m sure I’ll wind up regretting that decision at some point, but what’s done is done. I remember Caleb telling me about his friend Oliver, who is in the hotel business. Since Caleb did some consulting work for Oliver, I’m sure he’s familiar with the hotels in the city, and I don’t want him to know that I’m staying in one of the cheaper ones in Manhattan.
It’s the kind of place where the bed will take up the majority of the available square footage, and I’ll have to share a bathroom with a few rooms on the same floor. I figured that if I told Caleb about it, he’d either a: want me to stay with him, or b: insisted that I get a room at another establishment. I can’t afford anything else, and I don’t want him paying for me, so lying was the only thing I could think to do.
When the car comes to a stop about five blocks away from the hotel I’m actually going to check into, Caleb says, “Let me walk you up.”
“No!” I reply, too loudly. Too quickly. “If you come up, I’ll want you to stay. Let’s just say goodbye here?”
Caleb gives me an indulgent smile. “That worried you won’t be able to resist my charms?”
He leans in close, and kisses the breath right out of me. It’s a kiss that makes me rethink my decision to get out of this car.
“When can I see you again?” he asks, his green eyes half-lidded with desire.
“When do you want to see me again?”
“Right now,” he says, leaning in and pressing a kiss against my neck. “Don’t leave. Come home with me.”
“Caleb…” I intend for it to be a warning, but his name comes out more like a plea.
“Okay, okay,” he relents. “Tomorrow?”
Way back in the corner of my mind, I hear my grandmother’s voice telling me not to be too available for a man, but I just don’t care. I don’t know how much time I have left here. How much time I have left at all, really. I want to spend time with Caleb while I can.