Desperately Seeking Epic(73)
“I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“Paul.” She lets out a lengthy breath. “I need this. I just feel so . . . unsexy. I’ve been in mother mode for years. It’s hard to turn it off.” She closes her eyes and takes another deep breath. “I’m not what I was when we were together years ago. My body is different.”
“I don’t know what you see when you look in the mirror, Clara. But I see a woman that has danced in and out of my mind for the past thirteen years. A woman that no matter how hard I tried, I could never replace. I have never wanted another woman the way I want you, then and now. And here you are, beautiful and nervous. No more holding back. I need you. I. Want. You. I didn’t think there was anything that could make me want you more . . . love you more. But I was wrong.”
“You were?”
“Not only are you the sexiest woman to me. You’re the mother of my child, Clara. Your body and my body joined together and made that beautiful little girl. You carried her; my baby. Inside of you.” I struggle for a beat, swallowing hard, and rub my cheeks as the emotion overwhelms me. “You can’t understand how much that turns me on. I want you to feel what you are. I want you to see what I see.”
Her chest rises and falls as she watches me. “I don’t know if that’s possible,” she utters softly. “Just . . . I need you to guide me. I’ll overthink everything if you don’t.”
A strong wave of nostalgia washes over me as I remember the woman that wore an exterior of fearlessness and determination. She came off intimidating to most men. Maybe even to me at first. But alone, naked, in bed . . . she was something else. She let go, gave in, succumbed completely. And it was so f*cking beautiful. She was the kind of lover I never knew I wanted until I had her. To have someone place so much trust in me; to let me give and take the way I needed to because pleasing me was her pleasure. She was steel and titanium to the world, but in the throes of passion, she handed over her power, like a gift, trusting me with it. And I treasured it. She was submissive and no woman has ever made me feel like more of a man in bed than she did. I will make her remember that woman; I will make her see what I see.
“Come here,” I order her, my voice automatically deep and husky.
Her tongue darts out and runs quickly over her pink lips. But she does as I say and moves in front of me. “Take my shirt off,” I rasp.
Her blue eyes dart to mine, a flicker of fear mixed with excitement in them. Her hands shake slightly as she reaches up and begins to unbutton my shirt from the collar down. When she’s done, she brings it up and slips it over my shoulders so it falls to the floor. She’s softly panting as her hands brush over my chest, her eyes fixed on her delicate fingers as she reacclimatizes herself with territory she once knew well.
“Arms up,” I tell her. Hesitantly, she raises her arms and I tug her shirt off and fling it away. She lowers her arms to her sides and as I reach around to unhook her bra, I kiss the crook of her neck and shoulder. She lets out a hiss, her chest arching toward me, pressing to my body. So beautiful. Stepping back, I watch in awe as she lets her bra slip from her breasts and down her arms. Her pink nipples are budding, the swelling making her desire evident. She’s always had the softest skin, perfectly creamy and soft.
“Turn and look at yourself in the mirror.” She blinks a few times, the uncertainty in her eyes begging me to stop this, but does as I say. She’s facing her full-length mirror, in the corner of her room, as I move behind her, pressing myself to her ever so slightly. She’s shaking.
“Look at you, Clara,” I growl as I run my fingers down her arm. “This perfect skin, those beautiful breasts. Look at how beautiful you are, baby.”
Her gaze tentatively meets mine in the reflection of the mirror. “Don’t look at me. Not yet,” I tell her. “I want you to see how f*cking exquisite you are.” I trail a hand back up her arm, her skin pebbling with my touch. “With your right hand, touch your breast.”
Her small hand softly glides up her body and gently gropes her breast. Her eyes flutter with the contact, but she keeps them open, staring at herself, just as I told her to. My dick is straining against my pants as I watch her. How can she not know she’s so f*cking sexy? Pulling away, I turn and quickly remove my pants and boxers. My dick is at full stance, hard as f*ck. It’s been so long since I’ve had her, and I feel like I’m about to combust with want. But this must happen slowly. Pulling the chair from her bureau, I place it behind her and sit so that my face is perfectly align with her ass.
“Undo your pants, Clara.” Her shoulders rise and fall with each breath she takes, but she unbuttons them and moves her arms to her sides again. So nervous and sweet. I hook my fingers on the waistband of her pants and panties, tugging them down her legs. She gasps and momentarily glances back at me before she steps out of them and I shove them aside. Her ass still looks amazing. Age and having a kid haven’t changed it much at all. Gritting my teeth, I let my fingers glide up the backs of her legs until they’re just below her cheeks. Suddenly not shy, she arches her back so her ass pushes toward me, hungry for more of my touch. There’s my girl. I give her right cheek a hard slap, her flesh giving the slightest jiggle, driving me f*cking nuts. She moans with the sting and I quickly grab her ass with both hands and massage it roughly.
“Do you like that?”