Craving The Player (Amateurs In Love Book 1)(51)
Sierra’s bright smile dances through my head, grabbing at both my chest and my groin. She would tell me to grow the hell up if she saw me right now. Her smile would be there, though, teasing and distracting me. I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of her, seeing her in my domain, having her watch me do what I love.
“Ah, there it is,” Ty chuckles, tossing his gloves in his bag before zipping it up. “Anything that I should know since we last talked?”
“Huh?” I clear my throat, focusing on him again.
“Are you really going to keep pretending with me? I’ve seen that look before. In the mirror.”
“She’s just a fuckbuddy.” The words feel wrong in my mouth. I want to swallow them back down and take them back immediately.
“Right.” His tone is evident enough that he doesn’t believe me at all. I don’t blame him. It’s obvious that I’m lying. “Have fun with that then.”
He laughs to himself and tosses his bag over his shoulder. “Just be careful, Braden. I thought it meant nothing when I was just sleeping with Gracie, too. Next thing I knew, I was telling her I loved her while standing butt-ass naked in her living room. It sneaks up on you and knocks you on your back.”
“Well, I’m not you.” I paint on a fake smile and swallow the growing lump in my throat. I’m not him, but I’m not sure that I could go to the bar anymore and pick up a new girl without a second thought like I used to. So maybe I’m not acting like myself, either.
If I thought that I would be able to get hard for somebody else, I would try fucking her out of my system right now. I’m nearly desperate enough to do anything to wipe away this feeling of helplessness.
“Alright.” He throws his hands up in surrender. “If you’re so sure that she means nothing to you, then I believe you.”
I can only nod, not trusting myself not to unintentionally snap at him when he says that she means nothing to me. It’s not true, but I won’t admit it. Holy, I’m too wound up right now.
“Just figure yourself out and calm down. Have sex or get drunk, I don’t care. Just don’t hurt yourself.” He moves towards me and punches my good arm, saying, “Call if you need anything.”
I punch him back. “Will do.”
Chapter Twenty-One
BRADEN
I don’t know why I texted her begging to let me come over, or why I’m knocking on the front door knowing how close I am to the edge of losing my sanity, but here I am. And I’m dying to be inside of her.
Sierra pulls open the door wearing nothing but a loose-fitting pyjama shirt that falls mid-thigh. Her hair is thrown up in a messy bun and there isn’t a speck of makeup on her face, but she looks stunning. Magnificent, really.
“Is everything okay? Your text worried me,” she mumbles, inviting me in and shutting the door softly behind me. I walk inside without muttering a word, kick off my shoes, and turn to face her.
Her concern for me is written all over her face. It has me gasping for air, the need to hold her starting to pull me under. “Come here.”
She doesn’t hesitate before walking straight into my chest, wrapping her arms around my middle as I pull her flush against me, sighing out in near instant relief. My hold on her is tight, like I’m terrified she’ll run and leave me here, desperate and vulnerable. But she doesn’t. Instead, she relaxes in my arms, strong puffs of air fanning across my chest as we stand in the middle of her apartment, neither of us wanting to let go.
My eyes close when she starts running a hand up and down my spine, warm fingers soothing the ache in my chest. A moan of appreciation falls from my mouth and I kiss the top of her head, keeping my lips there for a few seconds, not wanting to lose the contact so soon.
But with a reluctant sigh, her grip loosens the slightest bit and she leans back, looking up at me with worry obvious in her silver eyes. My immediate reaction is to pull her back into my chest, but I loosen my hold on her with a soft sound of annoyance.
“Are you okay?” she asks gently.
I spend a few seconds debating whether or not to open up to her, afraid that it’ll be the first step of many into creating a deeper bond with her. The thought of handing over more power to her that she can use against me has a bucket of ice water crashing down on me.
“Talk to me. I’m here for you.” The hand that was rubbing my back slides around to my front before climbing up my chest and gripping my nape. She gives it a slight squeeze and smiles a small, toothless smile that fiddles with my chest, unlocking something that she wasn’t planning on letting me keep away from her for much longer. I try to be upset with myself for letting her get so close, but can’t find it in myself to do so. Not right now, at least.
“Let’s sit down, yeah?” I wince at the raspy emotion in my voice.
She drops her arm from my neck and grabs my hand instead, leading me into her lamp-lit bedroom. “The couch is super uncomfortable. I picked it up at a thrift store downtown after . . .” She hesitates for a moment, chewing on the inside of her cheek before straightening her back. “I got it after I kicked Logan out. All of the furniture was his when we were living together, so he took it all when he left. I didn’t mind because the last thing I wanted was a reminder of him and my ex-best friend having sex on the couch. You know?”