Craving The Player (Amateurs In Love Book 1)(48)
"Don't even, Sierra. Have you forgotten that I'm your big sister? That title comes with younger sister reading skills."
"Is that so?" I scoff, shaking my head as I set my glass back down. Her intense stare doesn’t waver as it wears me down way too fast. "Fine! Put that damn look away. I’ve only been sleeping with someone. It's not serious like you and Joel."
I risk looking at her again just to see her roll her eyes. "Yeah, okay. Try again."
"I'm serious! We're just having fun. Trust me, he isn't a relationship kind of guy." My fingers dance on my leg as I bounce it.
"He’s gotta be hot then, right? What’s his name?”
I’m flushed when I answer, struggling to keep my voice from wobbling when just the thought of his name has me wanting to rub my thighs together. “Braden. And yeah. He's really fucking hot," I burst, raising a hand to my cheek to feel the burning skin.
She taps a contemplating finger on her chin and hums. I feel my brows lift with curiosity. “What? You don’t like that name or something?”
The irritation in my voice has me wanting to slap myself. What the hell? It shouldn’t bother me what Clare thinks about him.
“Braden,” she says slowly, pronouncing each letter like she’s never spoken them before. “Braden.” This time she rolls the r.
“Jesus Christ, Clare. You’re weirding me out.”
She swipes a hand in the air. “I was just trying to see how well it rolled off the tongue.”
My eyes go wide before I shake my head at her ridiculousness. “Well? Don’t leave me hanging. Does it fit the bill?”
She tosses me a wink. “It’s not bad. I’m sure he makes up for having such a usual name in other ways. Tell me, is he tall? You’re far too tall to be with a short guy.”
“Clare!” I chastise regardless of the smile that I can feel trying to stretch across my face. “Don’t hate on short guys. Majority of them know their way around a woman’s body better than most of the tall guys that I’ve ever met. But yes, Braden is pretty much a giant. Even compared to me. I only reach his shoulder.”
She looks surprised. “Really? Well then. I certainly can not wait to meet this guy.”
“Keep dreaming, Clare Bear. I don’t see that happening any time soon, if ever.” I can see that she wants to push me on it, but knows better than to try.
I’m grateful when she easily changes the subject to ask if I’m free to come with her to Liz’s fall talent show. After agreeing, we make our way back outside to join my niece in her leafy paradise. Clare and I exchange smiles, both of us starting to laugh before we grab Liz and toss her into the only pile that she hasn’t yet destroyed. Her squeal of excitement is like a shot of serotonin. And just like that, I’m home.
Chapter Twenty
BRADEN
“No.” My tone leaves no room for judgement, it’s too cold and void of emotion. My nerves are shot and my throat feels tight. Betrayal like I’ve never known rears its ugly head and shouts for attention, waving around a red flag that’s near impossible to ignore.
Dad’s brows move to his hairline as he stares at me, mouth gaping as if he’s surprised for some ungodly reason. He was either completely naive to my feelings or just doesn’t know me as well as he used to. Whichever it is, I don’t care. It’s the same either way. He wants to leave.
“What do you mean, no?” he echoes, and I catch the movement of his fingers curling around his bottle of non-alcoholic beer.
I clear my throat. “Sorry. Fuck no.”
“Watch it, son,” he growls. Dark eyes burn into the side of my face with a look of rage that I’ve seen only a few times over the course of my life as I continue to look straight ahead, refusing to meet his stare. “I meant, why not? What’s keeping you here? The gym? Forget about it. We’ll buy a new one in Toronto. Hell, if you come with us, I’ll buy you three.”
There’s no holding in my humourless chuckle. “Really? In case you’ve forgotten, you drained every last fucking penny you had for the rock on your fiancée’s finger. And what about Tyler? You know, your other son? Don’t you think that maybe he’s something that I don’t want to leave behind? I’m surprised you’re so okay with it, actually.”
“Tyler spends half the year on the road, Braden. Location doesn’t matter to him, but Gracie does. And it wouldn’t be fair to take her from her family, especially while they’re building a family together. Anyway, I already spoke to him today. He turned me down.”
I feel the judgement in his words like a sucker punch to the gut. The disappointment that my fathers feels with how I live my life makes me want to throw my fist through a cement block. The way I refuse to commit to one woman pisses him off—disappoints him. I know that it stems from his own past mistakes and regrets. And so he throws them onto me, wanting me to be better than he was.
For a second, I debate throwing Sierra in his face to spite him, but stop myself when I remember that while I may want her to be mine to some degree, it’s not like that between us. Our relationship, or whatever you would call it, is messy, filled with a never ending list of questions that I don’t have the answers to yet. Every time that I feel myself give in to her pull, I yank back before I give it a chance. The thought of her with another guy makes me want to go postal. I get possessive and lose myself in her presence and the way she makes me feel like I could rule the whole fucking world. But all it takes is one reminder of how broken I am in the world of relationships and commitment to shut down again.