Cowgirl Up and Ride (Rough Riders #3)(58)

You ain’t aware of nothin’ that goes on outside the borders of the all important McKay Ranch.”


“Drunk talk. That ain’t true.”


“It is. You’ve all got too much pride.”


“I’d rather have some pride than none like you.”


“Fuck you too.”


Here was the opening he’d been looking for. “No thanks. But I didn’t know you swung that way until I got an up close and personal view of some of your nighttime activities.”


“What’re you talkin’ about?”


“Don’t pretend you don’t know.”


“I don’t. I can’t remember shit about anything.”


“You’ve been drinkin’ so much you’ve been blackin’ out?”


“So?”


“So, do you ever wake up with a sore mouth, a sore dick and a sore * with no clue of how you got it?”


A hint of wariness crept into Dag’s bloodshot eyes.


“I don’t care if you’re gay, Dag. But if bein’ gay and bein’ afraid to come out is causin’ you to drink too much, you need help on a couple of different levels, cuz.”


“Me? Gay? I ain’t gay. Is this some kinda joke?”


Kade shook his head. “I came home one night and found you in bed with not one, not two, but three guys. At first I thought you were drugged and I was gonna step in and break it up, but you appeared to be enjoyin’ suckin’ Max off, while Leroy f*cked you in the ass. Didn’t catch the name of the guy suckin’ you off. Then you mentioned you’d f*cked and sucked both the guys before. Multiple times.”


Dag’s face went ghostly pale.


“Like I said, I don’t care if you’re gay. I do care if you’re so drunk you don’t know what the hell you’re doin’. I do care if you put my brother or our cousins in danger because you’re habitually drunk. You are out of control, Dag. Bad.”


He swallowed hard several times. “You ain’t kiddin’? You saw me?”


Kade nodded.


“Who knows about it? Have you told my dad what you saw me doin’…with another man?”


“You mean men?”


“Jesus. Men. Who knows? Kane? Colt? Trevor?”


“I don’t know. I haven’t told anyone, Dag. It ain’t my business to do so.” Kade stared at his cousin, who was looking more than a little forlorn.


A long pause hung between them.


“It’d kill my dad…to know I swing both ways. He’s got a dream of me settlin’ down with a local gal and raisin’ a passel of kids on the home place. Like Colby done. That ain’t me Kade. It ain’t never been me. When I was on the circuit I was the real me.


Happy. Doin’ what I loved. Now, I’m stuck. I got no skills beyond rodeo. No place to go.


I’m livin’ a lie and I f*ckin’ hate it.”


“Booze isn’t the answer. It ain’t gonna make any of this go away. It’ll just make you more reckless and bitter.”


“What would you do?”


“Ah, hell, Dag, how am I supposed to answer that?.”


“No. I’m serious. If your life was a mess, what would you do?”


“Sober up, first. Then tell Uncle H how you feel about ranchin’. If he’s a jerk, have him leave the responsibilities to Chassie. Move on. As hard as it is for me to imagine leavin’ here, leavin’ my family, I’d do it in a f*ckin’ heartbeat if I was as miserable as you.”