Cowboy Casanova (Rough Riders #12)(166)

refusal to listen to reason and his attempt to fix his mistake. For the first time

since they’d started a relationship, she’d looked at him with pity. Like he was a

freak.


When Cody straddled the chair around across from him, Ben bit back a leave-me-the-f*ck

alone snarl. Cody would snap right back, demanding to know why Ben came to the club if

he’d wanted solitude.



“Looks like you’re doing some deep thinking.”


“I am. It’s very taxing on my pea-sized brain.”


He laughed. “Bullshit. Spill the details, man. Especially since you ain’t been here

in a month again. What’s going on?”


“Fuck, Cody, I don’t know where to start.”


“I see I had reason to be worried about you. Come on, Ben. It’s me. We’ve talked

about everything over the years. And I mean everything.”


“I know that,” he said softly. In some ways, Ben was closer to the guys at the

Rawhide Club than he was with his brothers.


“Then talk to me.”


“Remember that friend of Layla’s?” Cody nodded. “We ran into each other in Sundance

after that weekend at the club. She’s just moved there, so we’ve been playin’ at my

house, on a trial basis because she’s not convinced she’s cut out for a Dom/sub

relationship. It’s ended up complicated. Even more than I’m letting on because I have

feelings for her. Like hardcore I-think-I’m-in-f*cking-love-with-her feelings.”


Cody whistled. “Did you tell her?”


“No.” Ben knocked back a swallow of beer. “Because I know she doesn’t feel the same

way. I was an experiment. A failed one; she wanted me because I was a Dom, and now she

doesn’t want me because I’m a Dom.”


“We came to terms with who we are a long time ago, Ben.”


“I thought I had. Now I don’t know.”


Cody clapped him on the back. “I’m gonna give you the same advice you gave me when

Kristin gave me back my collar, get over it, get on with it.”


Ben snorted. “And that’s worked for you…how? You’re still f*cking in love with

Kristin. You’re still waiting for her to walk back through that door.”


“And hell will freeze over before that happens, so don’t be a dumb f*cker like me.

There are plenty of woman who wanna get with Bennett. Line up another sub. That’ll

take the sting out of it.”


But I don’t want another sub. I want Ainsley.


“I recognize that look. Listen to me. Don’t be a pathetic motherf*cker. Move on.

Because we both know once a sub’s made her mind up she’s not really a sub, or she’s

got an excuse not to be with you as you really are, there’s no going back.” Cody

squeezed his shoulder and left him to consider his advice.


What sucked? Cody was exactly right. Which was why Ben hadn’t wanted to talk to him in

the first place.


Sometime later Mary Jane and Cliff braved the gloomy cloud surrounding Ben and took

seats at his table. The couple had been married thirty years and recently committed to

a dominant and submissive relationship.


Mary Jane liked a bite of pain. Cliff, a novice with brute strength, had gotten