Conviction (Consolation Duet #2)(22)

She doesn’t see how this alters everything. Aaron being alive makes me the other man. I’m not Aarabelle’s father; I’d be the guy that stole her mom from her dad. Besides the fact that it makes every family gathering the most awkward thing there could possibly be.

“This is impossible for all of us.” Her body almost goes limp. “He’s dealing with coming home after God knows what happened. You’re not wanting to break some code with him, and I’m torn in the middle.” She wraps her arms around her stomach and drops her head.

“Lee,” I say and tilt her head with my fingers. “If we truly love each other, not time, another man, or distance will keep us apart. Do you trust that enough?”


There’s so much at stake, and while I want to be a selfish *, I can’t. My loyalty has nothing to do with what I said to Aaron. Truth be told, I couldn’t give a f*ck less what he wants me to do. He lost her, but on my way home, I realized she lost herself too. I don’t doubt she loves me. I don’t think she doubts it either, but we need a minute. We both have to figure out the best way to handle it, and I can’t be the one to tell her what to do. I leave for deployment in two weeks, and there’s talk about leaving a week earlier. The deployment gives us the time and space to work through it all and really see if what we have is strong.

“I know I love you. I trust that right now all I have in my heart is you.”

“I think we need to take my deployment as a break,” I utter the words and instantly wish I could take them back.

The last thing I want is a break from her, but it’s the only choice we have. I won’t put her through trying to sort things out with him while I’m deployed. I don’t want to worry about what she’s doing while I’m gone. I need to focus on my men and keeping myself safe. This type of shit is what gets guys killed.

Her face falls and I see the pain spark in her eyes. I hate hurting her. “I seriously can’t believe this.”

I take her hand in mine and savor the feel of her skin beneath my fingers. “I love you, Natalie. More than I should, but I can’t have this shit hanging between us when I go. We won’t be able to talk a lot when I’m gone, and I already knew I would go batshit crazy when I leave, but now . . .” I trail off.

Her blue eyes pierce through me, and I see how hard this is for her. “Can I write you? Can I see you before you go?”

Every part of me disintegrates with her questions.

I hope to God there’s a way we can find a way back through this, because if I lose her for good, I don’t know I’ll ever go through this shit again. There’s a part of me that always wondered if he was actually alive who she’d choose and if we can stand the test. This is the time to prove it.

“You don’t get it. I don’t want to be away from you. I don’t want to do this, but I think we have to. I need to focus when I’m away, and imagining Aaron moving in on you will get me killed. Do you understand?”

“Please don’t say stuff like that. He’s not moving in on me and nothing will happen to you.”

I bring her against me and close my eyes. If only it were so simple. If I were Aaron, I would fight to the death. Which is exactly what he’ll do. Brittany isn’t who he wants to be with. It’s Lee, who happens to be who I want as well. I won’t ruin myself in the process though. If she wants to be with him, I won’t stand in her way, because he had her first. Even if it kills me.

“Nothing is guaranteed, sweetheart. Know that each moment I’m away from you, you’ll be in my mind. There won’t be a moment that you won’t be what I’m thinking of.”

We recline back in the couch then she wraps her arm around my torso. “I don’t want you to go.”

I sigh, “I know, but maybe this is what we need.”

“No, it’s not what we need, but it’s what we have. I’m going to ache for you every day you’re gone. I’m going to wish you were here so I could snuggle into your side and remind you why you should love me.”

I pull her closer and rub the side of her arm. “Loving you was never the issue. It’s keeping you when you’re not mine to have.”

She looks at me as a tear falls. “I think I was always yours to have. I’m just hoping you’ll see that soon.”





“Lee?” Reanell calls out from the back deck. It’s Aarabelle’s birthday party and she came early to help set up.

“In the kitchen!” I call out and wipe my forehead. The house is a mess. There’s flour all over the floor, eggs on the floor thanks to my clumsy hands, and Aarabelle laughs at me from her highchair.

She opens the swinging door and stops. “Wow . . . I mean . . . wow.”

“Yeah, can you help me?”

“Where’s your devoted husband? Visiting his girlfriend?” she asks with hostility.

“Reanell!”

“Too soon? Yeah, probably too soon. Sorry.” She bends down and starts to clean up the eggs. “So, where is he?”

“Mark picked him up and took him out for a few hours since the tension was enough to suck the air from the house.” I point over to the newspaper that featured his rescue. “Read the last paragraph.”

Considering I used to work for the local press, you’d think they would’ve given me a heads up. Nope. They did a huge piece on him and how he’s a hero. But the worst was how Aaron told them how determined he was to make his family whole again. How he loves his wife and child more than his own life and we’re what kept him alive.