Consolation (Consolation Duet #1)(70)

“I’d miss me too.”

“And you say I’m arrogant.” He smiles against my mouth.

I smile back and kiss him gently. “I just know how lucky you are.”

He kisses me again and laughs.

We eat our dinner and fill each other in on our time away. I miss hearing the field stories. Things that happened and all the dumb things they do. Liam tells me about Quinn and the pranks he pulled on some new guys who checked in this week. I laugh and tell him about work and then I fill him in on my talk with Brittany.

“She was pregnant?” he asks with his jaw hanging open.

“Apparently. I don’t know what the hell to believe anymore. It’s all ridiculous.”

Liam pulls my chair so I’m sitting with my legs between his. “Are you okay?”

I know it’s not easy for him to shift into this conversation. I mean, here we are again, talking about Aaron in some way. Even I grow annoyed with it. The flip side is that Aaron wasn’t just some ex for me and he wasn’t some guy to him. There’s a lot of history for both of us.

“It was a shock. It was a big shock,” I say in a hushed tone.

“I’m sure, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I’m fine.”

“Oh, good. You’re fine again.” Liam throws his hands up and they come down with a slap.

I look up as I hear the chair grate against the floor. He moves away from me and starts to eat again. I sit here stunned.

“Why are you pissed?” I ask, a little pissed myself.

He drops the fork and looks over and huffs. “You’re fine? We’re going back to that? You find out your husband was having a baby with the woman he was f*cking behind your back—and you’re fine?”

Fuck him. I can be fine or whatever else I want to be.

“I’ve had a few days to process it all, Liam. I’m sorry I don’t want to tell you all the shit that went through my mind. I’m fine with it now—is that better?” I sneer the words and shake my head.

“I have a lot on my mind.”

“That’s no excuse to be an ass to me. I didn’t have to tell you about Brittany and their love child. But I’m trying to be honest with you. You said we should talk about this crap.”

“I know.”

“That’s your cue to say ‘I’m sorry,’” I instruct him.

He looks over and pulls my chair back. His eyes sparkle in the light and he gives a dramatic sigh. “My darling, Natalie,” Liam pauses and then lifts my hands between us, “I’m forever sorry for being an ass. I promise to only fight with you when it’s acceptable and you grant me permission. Will you forgive me?”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“You’ll live.”

“You might not,” I threaten.

Liam’s lips rise as he fights his smile. “I’ll take my chances.”

He could probably kill me in half a second, but he’d have to catch me first. We both sit in silence and I allow myself a few moments to gather myself after our argument. I wonder how long we can seriously go like this.

Liam starts to shift a little and I notice he seems to be somewhere else. Normally I would push him, but it’s unlike him to be uncomfortable. Liam exudes confidence. He knows how to handle most situations before they even happen. Maybe I really upset him with our disagreement.

“Are you okay?” I finally ask after a long bout of silence.

“Yeah, I told you I have a lot on my mind,” he explains. I sit and wait for him to expand on that. He lifts his head to the sky and lets out a deep breath. “We got our deployment orders today.” He looks over at me and waits.

I know what this means and the fact that he’s this unhappy tells me all I need to know. It’s soon and I’m going to need to start preparing for it. I try to dig deep into my old ways. Think later—smile now. I need to lock down my own concerns and be his support. He can’t see my fear, he can’t see my sadness. He has to hear the words that will keep him safe. Time to rely on my own training of being the one who gets left behind.

“When do you leave?”

Liam grabs my hand. “Right after Aarabelle’s birthday.”

“Oh, really soon,” I say and try to fortify myself behind the wall of indifference. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with deployments.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I ask surprised. He didn’t do anything wrong. This is the life. It’s time I get used to it again because Liam is in for a long time.

He stands and begins to pace. “I know you’re not okay about this. Fuck. I’m not happy either.”

“Am I happy? No. But it’s your life. I understand.”

“I think we should go away for a week before I leave. I have stand-down leave before. We can go back to Corolla and just be us.”

The picture he paints is something I can’t refuse, but I took off work not too long ago. “I don’t know. I mean, I have a lot going on.” I chew on my nail and battle my own wants. Another trip would be great to be able to just be us again. But I’m trying to move forward in all parts of my life, including working.