Consolation (Consolation Duet #1)(45)

Reanell rushes toward us and places her hand on my shoulder. I look at her and tears continue to fall like rain. “Rea,” my voice is barely a whisper.

The torrent of emotions flow from one to another and I can’t seem to hold on to the anger. I could handle the anger.

“Let Liam take you home.” She nods to Liam who grabs my shoulder and pulls me toward him. “I’ll come by later.”

“Rea,” I say again, begging her to make this a lie. Make this all go away.

“I’ll find out the truth. Just go home. Liam has you.”

The entire walk to the car is a blur. I keep seeing Brittany’s face and imagining my husband kissing her, touching her, and I feel sick. When we reach the car, I lean over and the nausea is too much. My stomach heaves, whether from the news of my husband’s infidelity or the alcohol I’ve drunk, I couldn’t say. I cry and let it out.

Liam holds my hair and my shoulders. I want to die. I feel like each bone in my body is shattering. The splinters of my wounds are open and I’m bared for the world to see.

“I hate him!” I cry out as I stand and Liam puts me in the car without saying a word. I hate myself for coming here. I hate Liam for touching her even if it was only her hand. I hate Aaron for his indiscretion and the fact that I’m left with my imagination.

Aaron, the man who wrote me letters. The one who made love to me so sweetly when it was my first time—was a f*cking cheater. I made him promises of love and fidelity, to end with him dead and now a liar. I cried for him, wanted to put myself in the ground next to him so I could be close to him.

Did he love her? Was she better than me? When he held me at night and talked to my stomach, was he wishing it was her carrying his child? I can’t stop thinking it. It flows through my thoughts over and over. Each memory feels tainted.

Next thing I know, I’m in front of my house and Liam is helping me out of the car. I close my eyes and sit on the deck. The warm air that used to give me solace makes me ill. Liam stands before me, and when I look up, he looks as lost as I am.

“I’m going to let Paige go home,” Liam says and walks into the house.

I barely nod.

This day I want to forget.

Paige walks by and waves. I lift my hand and then I feel Liam beside me.

“I’m at a loss here, Lee. I’m not sure what to say or do.”

“You think I know?” I say harshly. I’m sitting here crying about my dead husband’s newly discovered year-old affair to my current boyfriend. There’s no way to make this shit up.

“No, I don’t, but do I hold you? Do I tell you that he’s a f*cking fool?”

I look at him ready to spew my anger, but he looks as enraged as I am. “I don’t know. I can’t get answers for any of this. Do you know how this makes me feel?”

“I swear to God, Lee. If he was alive, I’d f*cking kill him right now.”

“How could he do this to me?” If Liam can give me some answers, I’d really appreciate it.

Hesitantly, Liam moves closer. “I don’t know, but I would never be able to touch another woman after you. I’d cut my f*cking arm off before it would happen. So I can’t answer you because I don’t get it. I hate that you’re hurting.”

I look at him and I feel worse than before. Here’s Liam, my boyfriend, consoling me over another man. The word “man” is being used loosely because right now, I don’t consider him one.

“I don’t know if I can do this with you.”

Liam laces his hands behind his head and looks at the sky. “This is going to sound f*cked up, but don’t let what he did to you define what happens with us. I’m not Aaron. I’m here. I’m standing right here. I didn’t touch her and I wasn’t married to you. Fuck, we’re not even sleeping together and I couldn’t do it. So I’m not that guy.”

I step toward the door and want to erase this entire evening. Before I open it, I turn to him, “I know you’re not Aaron. I know you’re here, but right now my heart is broken. It’s like I’m back grieving all over again.”

He steps forward and grips my face, and I beg him with my eyes not to do it. “You’re not grieving. You’re hurt and I get that. But if you didn’t find any of this out, where would we be tonight? I’d be in your bed with you. I’d be holding you, touching you, showing you how much you mean to me.”

“Make me forget him,” I say desperately.

“Lee . . .” The apprehension in his voice tells me to stop, but I can’t.

“Please, show me how you want me,” my voice is dripping with need.

“Don’t do this,” he begs, staring into my eyes.

I want him to make this all go away. “Make love to me tonight. Please, I need you to show me I’m yours. Make all I can think about be you. Give me this.” I try to lean up to kiss him but he backs away. The way he looks at me says it all. I cover my face with my hands. This night just keeps getting better and better.

Liam pulls my hands down. “When we make love for the first time, when I claim you, it’s not going to be because you want to forget. It’s going to be because you want me. You’re mine now.” He pulls me close and kisses me. Every emotion Liam’s feeling is passed through us. My stomach tightens as I experience them all—anger, hurt, fear, love, and desire. He pours himself into me.