Consequences(167)

When their food arrived Tony covered Claire with a blanket from his bed. She lay on the rug in front of the fireplace with the soft down comforter and Tony wore only a pair of gym shorts as Cindy wheeled in their lunch. Cindy started to put the warm foods and drink on the table, when smiling at Claire, Tony told Cindy she could leave. Cindy thanked him and left the cart.

Claire smiled at her husband, bare chested, setting their lunch on the table. “Sometimes I think you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”

He poured two cups of coffee and carried them to his wife. Joining her under the comforter he prompted, “And other times?”

Answering honestly, she said, “Other times, I don’t like you.” He looked at her with astonishment. She kissed his lips. “Today is definitely a like day.”

His smile warmed her heart as he said, “I’m glad.”

*

While eating lunch Tony asked Claire about the don’t like days. She thought about playing it off, lying, or telling him she was joking. Then she decided to be truthful. “I love you—I really do. I sometimes feel like the luckiest woman on the planet, but other times I feel like a five-year-old.” She waited. Did he understand what she was trying to say? His eyes weren’t darkening; he was listening. “I know you may not think so, but I really don’t have any intention of causing you harm. Why would I? You told me your grandfather trusted the wrong people. Was your grandmother one of them?”

Tony seemed slightly shaken by the mention of his grandfather. “No. Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m going to assume she loved him and he loved her. If they didn’t they wouldn’t have married.” Tony nodded his understanding. Claire continued, “I realize there are people who may try to hurt you or your business, but I’m not one of them.” She wasn’t sure how she could explain her feelings to him. She looked directly into his eyes. The mention of his grandfather minutely darkened them. “I don’t have a problem with you being in control of our lives—I trust you. I just wish you trusted me, so I could feel like a wife instead of a child or a possession.”

She’d been happy, but this conversation was making her sad. “I’m sorry—I’m ruining this wonderful day.” She looked down at her lunch and her cold soup. Closing her eyes she heard his chair move. Claire didn’t want him to see the tears escaping her lids. She didn’t look up.

Anthony Rawlings gently took his wife’s hand and helped her rise from her chair, then tenderly lifted her chin. Seeing her tears, he said, “Claire, it seems to me that you apologize a lot.”

She started to say she was sorry, but snickered at herself instead.

“See? See that smile you have? You can’t, but I can. It’s beautiful, even with your hair a mess—which it is, and your smile, doesn’t stop at those perfect lips—it extends to your pink wind-burned cheeks—and most dramatically—it extends to your bright, emerald green eyes.” He was bending with his nose millimeters from hers. “I apologize for not causing that smile to come out more.”

Claire felt her resolve melt as her knees weakened. Thankfully, she was being supported by his strong, steady arms.

Tony continued, “You’re right about so many things. Listening to you talk today about the different trees—snow—a blizzard—animals—and birds—you know so many things I’ve never attempted to learn, and you know me better than anyone. I’ve tried to keep my past that—the past, but you’ve managed to take the bits and pieces I’ve offered over the course of a year and weave them together into some psychological basis for your comprehension of me. I must reluctantly admit you’re correct.” She wanted to say something, but he kissed her tenderly and continued, “You have not intentionally given me reason to do anything but trust you and yet, I know I have not always behaved well. This may come as a shock, but I have issues with control”—she couldn’t help but smile—“There’s that smile.”