Coming Home(179)

Sharp reminders of her misery.

She had never endured this type of suffering before. When Leah had lost her mother, it had been impossible to be with her. She was gone—no longer in existence. When she had lost Scott, there was no desire to be near him ever again.

But with Danny, she needed him so desperately it consumed her. And he was out there. Living and breathing and existing. And completely out of her reach.

It was the cruelest type of torment.

He hadn’t contacted her at all since she’d gone to see him, which meant she couldn’t even fight for him. It wasn’t like she could call him. She couldn’t text. She couldn’t show up at his apartment begging to be heard. And even if she could, what would be the point? He’d made it clear what he wanted.

No, it was easier to just sit back and let the desolation have her. She didn’t have the energy to fight against it this time.

Leah got out of the shower and brushed her wet hair, tying it back into a low ponytail without blow-drying it. And then she walked out of the bathroom, bypassing her makeup case yet again.

“I picked out an outfit for you,” Holly said, holding up a pair of skinny jeans and a cute flowered tank.

“No,” Leah said, walking toward her dresser and opening the bottom drawer where she kept her yoga pants and sweats.

She heard Holly sigh heavily. “Fine,” she said, tossing the clothes on Leah’s bed. “You’re agreeing to come, so I’ll give you this one concession. You can look like a complete dirtbag if it will make you feel better.”

“It will,” Leah said flatly as she pulled on a pair of charcoal yoga pants.

As they drove to the mall, Holly kept up a steady stream of small talk, filling Leah in on the everyday occurrences and little tidbits of life she’d missed out on over the past two weeks. Apparently, the shopping trip was for a party Evan had been invited to the following weekend. His ex-girlfriend was going to be there, so Holly needed to look “devastatingly sexy,” as she put it.

Leah followed her through the mall, nodding when she was supposed to, smiling when she was supposed to, answering when she was required to, all the while counting down the minutes until she could crawl back into her bed.

They walked through the department store, and Holly pulled dress after dress off the rack, holding it out and examining it before tossing it over her arm or hanging it back up with a shake of her head.

“I think you’ve got enough,” Leah said, gesturing toward the mountain of fabric piled over her friend’s arm.

Holly shrugged. “I don’t know that any of these are devastating, but I’ll try them on. We can always go to a different store after this.”

Please, Leah thought, please let one of them be devastating.

They walked into one of the fitting rooms, and Holly dropped the heap of dresses on the bench in the corner. “You have to be honest,” she said, pulling her shirt over her head. “Don’t yes me to death because you want to go home. If you send me to a party with Evan’s ex looking like a heifer, I’ll spend the rest of my life torturing you.”

“How will that be different from what you already do?”

Holly smiled. “There she is! Oh, how I’ve missed bitchy Leah.”

Leah smiled half-heartedly as Holly reached over and grabbed a dress off the top of the pile, handing it to Leah. “Here, put this on,” she said, taking the next one for herself.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know. Because it’s fun to try on dresses. Humor me,” she said, pulling a dark green cocktail dress over her head.