Coming Home(144)

“Hello. My name’s Amanda. I’ll be with Dr. Racine today.”

“Hello,” Danny managed softly.

“I know this isn’t easy,” she said. Her voice was like aloe on a sunburn, and for a moment, Danny found himself wondering if that was something they taught in nursing school. “Anything you need from us, please let us know. We’d like to support you in any way we can.”

Danny wet his lips as he looked down. “Thank you.”

“I just wanted to take a minute to walk you through the process so you know what to expect once we go inside. Is it okay if we do that now?”

Danny nodded, rubbing his hand up and down Gram’s arm. She was completely stoic, resting her head on his shoulder as she stared straight ahead.

“Okay. When you’re ready, the doctor will remove his breathing tube, and then I’ll turn off his epinephrine drip. After that, his blood pressure will drop, and his breathing will begin to taper off.”

He closed his eyes, biting the inside of his bottom lip until he tasted blood.

“We’ll be monitoring his vitals back at the nurses’ station. You can stay with him as long as you like.”

Danny cleared his throat before he lifted his eyes. “Will it hurt?” he managed.

“No. If Dr. Racine thinks it will take a while for him to pass, he’ll order some medication to make him comfortable. He won’t feel any pain.”

Although Gram’s mask-like expression hadn’t changed, Danny tightened his arm around her as he ran his hand over his eyes.

“What do you mean by a while? How long will it take?”

“We won’t know what we’re looking at until we see how his vitals respond without assistance. It could be a few minutes, or a few hours. In some cases, it could be a few days.”

Danny saw Leah close her eyes before turning away.

I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t.

“Do you have any other questions?” the nurse asked gently, placing her hand on Danny’s shoulder.

He kept his eyes trained on the floor as he shook his head.

“If you do, or if you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to ask us.”

“Thanks,” Danny said hoarsely, looking down at Gram. Her glassy eyes were still fixed on some far-off point.

“Let us know when you’re ready,” she said before she stood, placing her hand on top of Gram’s before she continued on to the nurses’ station.

“Gram,” Danny said, and she blinked a few times before turning her head to look up at him. “Do you understand everything the nurse just said?”

After a few seconds, she nodded.

“Okay,” he said, rubbing his hand over her arm. “Okay…you let me know when you’re ready.”

Gram took a deep breath before she said, “I need to use the powder room.”

“Alright,” he said, moving to help her up, and when he took a step with her, she shook her head.

“I’d like to go alone.”

Danny gradually released his hold on her, making sure she was steady on her feet. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, giving his hand a squeeze before she let go and started down the hall, and he kept his eyes on her until she turned the corner and was out of sight.

Danny lowered himself into the chair behind him, dropping his forehead to his clasped hands. And then Leah was standing in front of him, resting her hand on the back of his head.

Without lifting his head, he reached forward, wrapping his arms around her hips and pulling her to stand in between his legs before he buried his face in her abdomen.