Come to Me Quietly(45)

Christopher seemed to barely notice me and tossed me an offhanded “Night,” oblivious of whatever was building between Jared and me.

“Good night,” Jared whispered, his eyes trailing my steps, locking on mine when I paused to look back at him from my door. His expression made it clear he was the furthest from oblivious.

It took him an hour, but finally I heard the light tapping that tickled my ears and escalated my pulse before the door cracked open. A sliver of light from the hallway bled inside as Jared stole into my darkened room.

I lay on my bed, waiting.

Chuckling, Jared crossed the room. “Christopher just left. Said he has some girl he promised he’d go see. Don’t think I’m quite interesting enough for him.”



Jared climbed onto the bed beside me. He didn’t hesitate to twist his finger through a lock of my hair as if it belonged there, didn’t hide the heave of contented air he pushed from his lungs. He settled so close to me I was sure he could count the thundering beats of my heart.

“Haven’t you figured that out by now?” Still I whispered. I wasn’t sure why.

Throaty laughter ricocheted against my walls. “Yeah… I might have noticed. What is up with him, anyway? Is he happy?” Jared turned a fraction, blinking toward the ceiling. “It’s like he’s chasing after something and can’t seem to find it.”



“Aren’t we all chasing after something?”



Lines deepened on Jared’s brow, a frown marring his face. “I don’t know, Aly.”



I inched forward. In the small space separating us, I relished the warmth I felt radiating from his body. My hands went to their safe spot, to his T-shirt-clad chest. I was still too fearful to touch the skin I wanted to disappear into.

“I think he’s happy, Jared, but he changed when you were sent away.”



Jared stiffened under me, because for the first time, I jumped. I was ready to submerge myself in the dangerous waters that held Jared under. I’d been treading them for too long.

With honesty, I opened my mouth. “I think it was fear… fear of losing someone who was so important to him.” I’d never forget Christopher’s eyes that night, when we’d found ourselves face-to-face in our hall, listening to our mother sobbing in her room. The vibrant green had waned from his eyes as Christopher had lost the last bit of his childhood, his innocence replaced with pain. Haunted. There was no other way to describe it. When I thought of what I saw in his eyes that day, I sometimes wondered what he had seen in mine.

“He ended up breaking up with Samantha about a week later.” Christopher had dated her for a year. I was pretty sure they’d been each other’s firsts. She was devastated, but Christopher had just seemed numb to her pain like he was to everything else. “He started going out all the time,” I slowly continued, knowing I was traversing dangerous ground, “hanging out with random girls. Now I can’t really tell if it’s a habit or a game or if he’s subconsciously guarding himself from something he doesn’t want to feel.”



Jared’s lips spread into a thin line, as if something that had nagged at him had been confirmed.

“It’s all so meaningless to him,” I said quietly, self-consciously fidgeting with Jared’s shirt. “I hate that those girls mean so little to him… that sex means so little to him.” I tipped my face up and captured his gaze. My mouth opened and closed as I struggled with what to say. As much as I didn’t want to know, I couldn’t keep myself from asking. “What about you? Have you ever been in love with anyone?”